Sesshoumaru Comes to Dinner
by LC Rose
Summary: Ten years after the well closes, Kagome finds Sesshoumaru and has him over for dinner. Various after scenes ensue. ** this is a collection of semi related one-shots **
1. Sesshoumaru Comes to Dinner

DISCLAIMER: The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

**Sesshoumaru Comes to Dinner**

Kagome still could not believe who she had run into at the bar nearly three months ago. It had been her first time going to said establishment and she'd thought she'd run into the same kind of guys she ran into everywhere else; drunks just looking for a good lay. Well, it hadn't exactly worked out that way. Ten years after last seeing him and over five hundred for him, she bumped into Sesshoumaru. Literally. Turning from the bar with drink in hand, she'd run straight into him as he walked up behind her.

At first, Kagome had been terrified. Then shocked. Then excited. Then terrified, shocked, and excited all over again and all at once. Sesshoumaru had just stood there, looking down, disbelief clearly visible in his golden eyes. She'd forgotten he had no idea she was from the future. Then she'd smiled and asked how he'd been for the last five hundred years.

Surprisingly, to her at least, he did not try and kill her. He even took her back to a private table, insisting on her spending the rest of the evening with him, telling him how in the hell she was there. Once Kagome started talking, as usual, she couldn't stop and she found herself telling Sesshoumaru everything. Then, not being able to help herself, she asked what had become of everyone else on the other side of the well. She was not surprised when Sesshoumaru had little to tell her about them. He had never been big on keeping tabs with her friends.

They'd met several times after that. Usually it was for lunch or some other little outing. Sesshoumaru, she'd learned, was in business now. He wasn't surprised to learn that Kagome was a published author. Her feudal day stories ended up making great fantasy books in the modern world. Today, though, was special because the daiyoukai was coming to her home for a specially prepared dinner.

Kagome rushed around her home, making last minute checks that everything was in place. Promptly, at six-thirty, a knock sounded at the door and Kagome smiled to herself. He was there. Her one link to the past had come right when he said he would. _Of course he would_, she chided herself. _If Sesshoumaru was ever anything, it was honorable. _

She opened the door and smiled broadly at the tall youkai standing there with a bottle of wine in hand. Taking the bottle, she let him in. As much as she wanted to throw her arms around him in a hug, Kagome withheld the desire. She still couldn't stop seeing him dressed in armor with sword in hand and a 'touch me and die' look on his face. After all, it wasn't that long ago, for her, that it had been the case.

As the daiyoukai walked into her home, her dog came barking up to the stranger from her bedroom. "Kouga!" Kagome admonished. "That's enough, boy."

The dog slunk back into the background. She glanced at the daiyoukai who was looking at her with one eyebrow raised. "Kouga?" he said, surprise in his voice.

Kagome gave a weak laugh. "Yeah. That's my dog's name."

"Kouga was the name of the wolf prince, if I am not mistaken."

"Yes," Kagome confirmed as she moved into the kitchen and opened the bottle of wine. "I named them when I first came back. Sort of a way to keep the past alive, I suppose."

Sesshoumaru followed and watched her fill two glasses with the wine he'd brought. The house was filled with the smells of the delicious dinner she'd prepared. "This Sesshoumaru would have thought you would have named the dog after my half-brother. I was unaware that you had relations with the wolf prince"

"He was just a friend and Inuyasha's around here somewhere," Kagome answered, her blush evident.

Sesshoumaru was intrigued. "I would like to meet this Inuyasha."

Kagome gave a little whistle and in toddled a small, white puppy with ears that much resembled the hanyou. She scooped the puppy up and showed him to Sesshoumaru. "I just found him recently. Isn't he adorable?"

Sesshoumaru glared down at the dog and said nothing. Kagome decided to get all the surprises out of the way. She pointed across the room to where a glass case sat. "There's Jaken," she said, indicating the toad inside the case. "And these two lovelies are Sango and Miroku."

"Love birds. How fitting," Sesshoumaru commented dryly. "I don't suppose this Sesshoumaru is around here somewhere. You have my retainer, after all."

At that, Kagome gave a nervous giggle. "Yeah...you're around here somewhere..."

"Miko," Sesshoumaru prodded, wondering what the dog looked like that she'd dared to name after him. "Where is this Sesshoumaru?"

She laughed again and sipped at her wine. "I believe you are standing in my kitchen."

"Miko," he said again, his tone laced with warning.

She threw her hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright! I'll get you, but you have to promise me you won't kill...you."

Sesshoumaru said nothing. He just glared at her.

Giving a sigh, Kagome disappeared into the back of the house. She emerged a few minutes later with a large, fluffy, long haired white cat in her arms. The cat's golden eyes looked to Sesshoumaru with utter boredom on its face. Sesshoumaru stood there, eyeing the feline for a long moment. Then he looked up at a blushing Kagome. "I am a cat," he said, disbelief evident in his tone. "You named a cat after a dog demon."

"Yes," she admitted slowly. Then she smiled brightly. "But you're so cute and fluffy!"

_Fin_

A/N: Just a quick idea I wanted to jot down. Am getting a new ferret soon, a white one, and am contemplating naming him Sesshoumaru. Fluffy for short, of course.


	2. Sitting with Sesshoumaru

**Sitting with Sesshoumaru**

Sesshoumaru found that he despised cats. Well, to be perfectly honest, not all cats. Just one in particular. And that happened to be the cat owned by the young miko, Kagome.

Since coming to her home for dinner and meeting her strange "collection", Sesshoumaru had tried with all his being to not enter her domicile again. It wasn't that he did not enjoy her home. He found her to have excellent taste in decor and her cooking was fabulous. It was her collection that bothered him. Especially when the puppy Inuyasha peed on his shoes...

Shaking his head to clear out that picture, he looked around her living room for the said thought of pest. The young pup was currently curled up in a ball next to Kagome's lap while she finished up whatever she was working with on her laptop. Giving the pup a good glare, reminding him of just who was Alpha yet again-- would the cycle never end?!-- he turned his gaze to said puppy's mistress.

Kagome must have felt his stare, as he was hoping she would. She raised her head briefly and flashed him a smile that told him it would be just a little while longer. Sighing to himself, but never out loud because that would just not do, Sesshoumaru turned his attention to the little glass home housing his retainer's name sake. He did not really want to stare at the toad, but it kept him from either looking at the rude dog, Kouga, curled around her feet or at the damn cat sitting in a rather lordly manner behind her on the back of the couch. _As if a cat could ever be anything at all like this Sesshoumaru..._he inwardly seethed while glaring daggers at the toad. After all, if the Jaken from his past had been good for such activities, surely the current "Jaken" would do as well.

Apparently, not.

In mid-glare, the toad Jaken turned and jumped away.

Sesshoumaru stood, stretching his legs and ignoring the warning growl from the wolf prince dog wrapped most intimately around Kagome's feet. Behind him the two love birds were fighting again and this caused him to smirk. In the few times he had been around the original pair, they had acted in much the same way as the two love birds were now. Hopefully they had not tweeted, though.

Moving across the living room to where Jaken was happily sitting half submerged in his water, he tapped the glass, continuing to stare daggers at the creature within. A laugh behind him alerted him to the fact that Kagome was watching him. "Are you done, miko?" he asked.

"Almost," she replied airily.

Sesshoumaru turned and faced her. Her eyes were once again turned towards the laptop and her fingers were flying over the keys. Because he was looking at her from a different angle, Sesshoumaru could not help but glance up at the offending creature behind her. The cat. The damn cat. It had followed his progress across the room and was now staring at him as intently as he was staring at it. It's golden eyes showed nothing but disdain and told him, without a doubt, that the cat believed this Sesshoumaru was lower than it. _Ridiculous,_ he thought. _How could this creature be so arrogant?! Did he not realize true greatness when he saw it?_

Almost as if the cat was reading his mind, he stood and stretched lazily. Then he proceeded to turn and give Sesshoumaru a very nice view of his butt up in the air before gracefully jumping down to the ground and wandering off somewhere else. Growling softly, Sesshoumaru decided to stalk the cat and teach the feisty little beast exactly who was who in their new world together.

It wasn't hard to find where the cat had gone to in this small space. The annoying creature was in the kitchen. No doubt it was eating as eating and sleeping seemed to be all it did. Once again, he questioned the miko's sanity in naming this cat after him. For one, the word cute did not apply to him and, for two, while he was quite 'fluffy'-- dare he think that?!-- in his true form, the word just had never been used to describe him before. _What had the miko been thinking?_

Rounding the corner, Sesshoumaru found the cat sitting up on the kitchen counter. It was almost as if it had been waiting for him. "Cat," he addressed it sternly. "You will remove your person from the counter immediately."

He heard a giggle coming from the living room, but ignored it. His attention remained focused on the annoying little beast. The cat choose that moment to lift its hind leg and began to clean its bottom. Growling again, a little louder to get the cat's attention, Sesshoumaru itched to touch the feline and toss it across the room. He knew Kagome would find insult in this action, though, and so restrained himself. "Cat," he said once more. "You will not ignore this Sesshoumaru."

The only sound following his declaration was of the cat's tongue scraping across its skin and another giggle from the living room.

He was about to make one last demand on the beast when he heard Kagome set her laptop aside and stand. A minute later and she was by his side, a wide grin on her face. "Cats don't listen to you, Sesshoumaru. They do what they please when they please."

Her ever faithful shadows chose that moment to burst into the kitchen, tails wagging. Up on the counter, the cat stopped bathing itself long enough to hiss in the dogs general direction. For once, Sesshoumaru found himself agreeing with it. He did not like the dogs either.

Moving away from the puppy before it thought to maybe relieve itself upon his person once more, Sesshoumaru glared at the cat again. "I still cannot fatham as to why you have named this creature after me, miko."

Before him, Kagome sighed dreamily. "You two are so much alike, Sesshoumaru," she answered him. "That you'll never understand."

_Fin_

A/N: Couldn't resist adding a bit more. A cat just so reminds me of his attitude.


	3. Explaining to Sesshoumaru

Pre A/N: I had a lot of people request a Sesshoumaru chapter in my _Letter to the Authors_ story, but I just couldn't come up with, what I thought, was a good enough plot. So I decided to add that bit onto here! Enjoy!!

**Explaining to Sesshoumaru **

Kagome was sitting in her living room, petting her own private Fluffy and relaxing with some Internet time, when a sharp knock came to her door. She wasn't expecting anyone, but there was only one person who would dare knock on her door like that.

Sesshoumaru.

Glancing down at her cat, who seemed content to stay in her lap and not let her answer the door, Kagome sighed and pushed him off. She stood and crossed the living room, opening the door to one very pissed off looking youkai lord. "Sesshoumaru?" Kagome said with confusion. "What's wrong?"

Sesshoumaru brushed past her and entered her home, for once ignoring the cacophony of barking that ensued every time he came over. Kagome tossed a quiet glare in Kouga's direction and the dog immediately shut up and slunk back to his normal sleeping spot in front of the couch. "Miko," Sesshoumaru said softly.

Kagome gulped. She knew that voice. She'd heard it hundreds of times in the days past, but he'd been speaking to Inuyasha then. "Yes, Sesshoumaru?"

"I want you to explain the meaning of this."

Kagome was truly perplexed. "The meaning of what, Sesshoumaru?"

He rattled several pages of paper in his hands that Kagome hadn't noticed before. Holding them out of her, he let her take them and then proceeded to pace back and forth. Kagome read over what was printed out on the paper, her face fighting a smile and a blush rising on her cheeks. "It's called fan fiction, Sesshoumaru," she said, her voice sounding off because of the giggles she was holding back.

"I do not like it."

"You don't have a say in it."

"You will cease and desist writing your infernal story books now, miko. I will not have this continue."

Kagome sighed. Leave it to Sesshoumaru to think that this was all her fault. Well, actually it was. Her books were popular. Not that she could blame anyone for enjoying them. If these things hadn't happened to her in reality she might have found them just as fascinating as the rest of the modern world did. "Even if I stopped writing them, my fans would still come up with their own stories for my characters."

Sesshoumaru angrily snatched the papers out of her hands. His eyes scanned the first one until he found the line he was looking for. "An ice prince with a prick up his ass," he read, his voice toneless and his glare hardening. He sounded odd using a curse word. "A masochist with a sword fetish. And what is this about being a perverted youkai fish? And there are no such things as hummingbird or flamingo youkai!"

Now that one broke through the dam she'd built to contain her laughter and Kagome let it loose. "Oh, now that one is one of my favorites!" she yelled out before she could stop herself.

Silence answered her.

Kagome immediately stopped laughing and found Sesshoumaru looking to where her laptop was usually laying. He moved towards it before Kagome could stop him. His long finger swiped across the touch pad, taking away the screen saver to reveal what exactly Kagome had been doing before his arrival. His eyes scanned over the monitor and then looked back to her now readily blushing face. "Miko."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru?"

"You read this rubbish?"

"It's interesting?" Kagome offered weakly. "Some of the stories are down right hilarious."

Sesshoumaru straightened, his glare increasing ten fold. "And what of the stories where it is I and Inuyasha involved?"

Kagome knew what he was talking about. She'd read those, too. She'd read them all, in fact, and enjoyed each one just because it was a continuation of her own work. She had been proud to have started something that had spread so widely around the world. It was nice to be someone's inspiration. "Those aren't exactly my cup of tea," she answered, averting her gaze. She knew Sesshoumaru could smell her lie. She'd enjoyed reading those, too, and he could sense that.

Sesshoumaru's glare only increased. He did not like the look in the miko's eye and decided it would be best if he steered her away from that particular topic. Snatching the papers out of her hands once more, he found the story that he knew would work. "This Sesshoumaru would not be brought down by bug spray, miko."

_Fin_

Post A/N: The "perverted youkai fish" comment comes from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dog Demons by Unseelie Sidhe. The hummingbird and flamingo youkai comments come from two stories by 4arrows (Check One: YES NO MAYBE and Detachable Penis). The bug spray comment comes from Tally Mark's Bite Me. All highly recommended reads by me.


	4. Sesshoumaru has Another Experience

**Sesshoumaru has _Another_ Experience at the Miko's**

He found himself, once more, back inside the miko's dwelling. This time, as he walked into her home, there was no barking to greet him. Turning a questioning eye to the miko, she smiled at him. "They are outside," she said in answer.

Sesshoumaru gave a nod of his head, pleased with this new development as he eyed his two nemeses whining and pawing at the French doors that led into the miko's backyard. Giving them a smug smile, he moved to the door and flicked the blinds closed on the wolf prince and his half-brother's namesakes. "Excellent," he said and then turned to look at the miko. "What is it that you wanted to speak with me about?"

She had called him, excited and happier than he'd ever known her to be, and requested he come over to her house to celebrate. She had refused to tell him why, saying that it was a surprise.

The miko's wide smile, that had been in place since he'd arrived, only grew. "They are making my books into an anime!" she squealed almost too loud.

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed slightly. "An anime?"

"Yes!"

He watched as the miko jumped up and down with glee, her hands clasped tightly before her. "Yes, yes, yes!" she continued to shout, but not so loud that it would hurt his sensitive hearing. Then she stopped and looked at him, her face flushed with her joy. "Would you like to see yourself?"

Sesshoumaru turned his eyes towards the damn cat, which was sitting in perfect repose atop the kitchen counter once more. Its golden eyes were trained on him and he could have sworn he saw a very smug look in the creature's eyes. He could not help but recall the last time the miko had presented him with, what she thought to be, his likeness. "I see myself every morning, miko," he answered.

She waved her hand airily before her and proceeded to retreat back to her usual space on the couch. She riffled around in a large leather portfolio until she found whatever it was that she was looking for. Withdrawing a large sheet of paper, she looked at it for a long time before returning her gaze to his. "They wanted my approval on all the drawings. I couldn't very well have them drawing you perfectly now, but I let them get as close as I could."

His interest caught, Sesshoumaru held out his clawed hand for the paper now held in a near death grip in the miko's hand. "Let me see what new atrocities I must face now," he said, recalling all too clearly his previous visitation to the miko's home.

For a moment he thought the miko might actually deny him, but then she held out the paper and Sesshoumaru slipped it from her fingers. He felt her eyes upon him and could practically taste the tension that was pouring off of her. His eyes traveled down to the paper in his hands. It was a rough sketch, but there was no denying who stared back at him from the paper. It was him...but a much younger looking version of himself.

His eyebrows rose slightly as he continued to stare at himself.

The miko was near to bursting with her excitement and anxiousness. "Well?" she finally said, unable to deal with the silence any longer.

Sesshoumaru continued to look at the drawing a moment longer and then, slowly, raised his eyes to meet hers. Handing the paper back to her, he sniffed slightly. "It is...adequate," he said at last.

Her wide smile returned and she carefully tucked the paper back into the portfolio. "I wanted your approval," she said as she did so, "Before I gave them the go-ahead."

"Why?"

"Because this is you, Sesshoumaru."

He made some noncommittal sound at the miko's reasoning. He would never understand how her mind chose to work itself. "And what other news was there that you wanted to tell me about?"

She _had_ mentioned two things, after all. Hopefully it had nothing to do with the crush of _fan girls_ that he had accumulated or some new story she wanted him to read. _She seems to be finding many of those recently_, he thought with an inner shudder of distaste. Her argument that he shouldn't be bothered by such things were the fact that he was always handsome beyond anything else and 'hung like a horse'. _Humans_, he thought. Even after all this time, he would never truly understand the species.

"Oh!" the miko said in reply. "I'd forgotten about the other surprise."

Sesshoumaru remained quiet and stayed where he was standing while the miko collected her thoughts. He was use to this. She was rather scatter-brained at times, but still a source of great amusement for him. Finally he saw the light in her eyes and knew she'd recalled what else she wanted to tell him. "I have more for my collection!"

He did not need to ask what 'collection' the miko spoke about. Two pieces of her collection were currently trying to claw the French doors down and a third piece was still sitting on the kitchen counter staring at him disdainfully.

Before he could say anything about her oddity, the miko disappeared into the back rooms of her home. Sesshoumaru listened to her retreating footsteps and heard a cage door being opened. She was cooing and laughing softly at something, but he couldn't define the smell. The miko had been using much incense in her home recently when he was not there and the effects of it were still lingering heavily in the air. Then he heard the miko returning and turned to face her; expecting what, he could not say.

She poked her head from around the corner, her hands clutched to her chest as something...or some 'things' squirmed for freedom. "Sesshoumaru, I would like you to meet two of my newest family members," she said proudly. Then she rounded the corner and held out what was being held captive in her hands for his inspection. "Meet Rin and Shippou."

He looked down at the squirming, lanky looking fur things and sniffed. The smell hit his nose and he actually took a step away. Now he understood why the miko had suddenly taken such a liking to burning incense. "Miko, what are those things?"

"Ferrets," she said simply. "They're adorable, playful, and oh so cute!"

She put the wiggling masses of fluff down on to the ground and the two ferrets immediately took off in a romping run that left them looking like streaks of white and brown across the wooden floors of her home. Sesshoumaru could hear their little claws scraping and skidding across the wood. The two little beasts were playing with one another, much as Rin and Shippou had done in the past, but with decidedly more viciousness.

Sesshoumaru watched them for a time and then turned to look at the miko, who wore an expectant expression on her face. She wanted him to say something, but what was there to say? "They stink."

The miko huffed quietly, sidestepping one of the ferrets as it made a leaping attack towards her foot. "They do not stink," she said defensively. Then a mischievous gleam came to her eyes that nearly made Sesshoumaru groan aloud. He was beginning to hate that look. "Sesshoumaru," she said, her voice sounding far too innocent for his liking. "Would you like to hear your theme song?"

_Fin_


	5. Caring for the Miko

a/n: This one is not so much comedy based, but I liked it and so decided to post it. So there.

**Caring for the Miko**

He had been calling her and she had not been answering. Very unlike the miko who seemed to crave his attendance most times. It left a feeling in him that he did not agree with.

Going to her home unannounced, he knocked on her door and was not surprised to hear the incessant barking of her two pups. Then he heard the tell-tale patter of her slippered feet approaching the door. Her gait was slower than normal and Sesshoumaru wondered why. Then she opened the door, peering out at him enveloped in a rather over-sized and fuzzy looking white robe. Her face was covered in a thin layer of sweat and her nose was decidedly red. "You are ill," he said, smelling the sickness on her.

She rolled her eyes at the statement, but nodded her head all the same. "Very. Would you still like to come inside?"

"This Sesshoumaru is not afraid of human ailments," he said in his most lordly voice, knowing she liked hearing him speak that way. For some reason it made the miko laugh when he did. He could remember a time when that had not been so. Was he getting soft, after all? "Move aside, miko."

She gave him a weak smile, proving to him further that she was, indeed, quite ill, and shuffled lightly sideways to allow him entrance. Once he was inside, she shut the door and then groaned all the way back to her customary seat on her couch. Why she enjoyed sitting in that exact spot every time he came over, he did not know. "What ails you, miko?" he asked as his eyes took in the mess of her living room. She was usually such a tidy human. The state of her home was almost alarming.

As if knowing his thoughts, she attempted to straighten up the mess that surrounded her chosen spot, but a fit of coughing stopped her. "I'm sick," she whined. "What do you mean 'what ails me'?"

The miko was testy this morning.

The two pups began barking at him again, having not heard their mistress's quiet command to be silent or—more than likely—having heard it and chosen to ignore it. Sesshoumaru turned to glare at the pups and, in a rare display of his true heritage, barked back at them; telling them in no uncertain terms to shut their mouths or risk losing their tongues. The pair immediately fell silent and slunk away to some other part of her home. When he turned back towards the miko, she was looking at him in wide-eyed shock. "Did you just bark?" she asked, trying to hide the smile that seemed to be burning her lips in an effort to break free.

"No. I spoke in the tongue of an inu."

"You barked."

Sesshoumaru was about to argue back and then stopped himself. The miko was intentionally trying to goad him. This was an age old tactic of hers. She delighted in making him annoyed. Instead of answering her back, he looked for something else to turn the conversation to. Unfortunately nothing came to mind. So he seated himself on the love seat near to her. "How long have you been ill?"

"Just a few days. My doctor said that it's something like the flu but will feel a million times worse. He said I need lots of rest and peace and quiet."

"You cannot have quiet with those mongrels around. And where am I? I should be taking care of you."

The miko was obviously having a bit of trouble following his conversation due to the fever ruling her mind at the moment. The look of confusion she wore would have been most comical if she wasn't looking so green at the moment. Then understanding dawned. "You're outside," she answered, glancing towards the back doors. Her hands moved with her words, looking just as confused as she sounded and appeared to be. "I just let you out which is why I was in here to hear the knock at the door and let you back in. Ah, there you are again."

Needless to say, it was slightly confusing to have two Sesshoumarus in her life. Perhaps, at another point in time when the miko was not so ill, that would be a valid point in the argument of getting rid of the furry, arrogant beast that carried his name. Then he noticed the miko starting to rise to let the infernal creature back into their midst. "Stay, miko. I shall let the cat inside."

With an amused smile on her face, she watched as he stood and let the cat back in. The cat gave him a meow that sounded distinctly as if he was asking what took him so long and the padded off to parts unknown. Sesshoumaru looked towards the miko. "Yet another reason why that creature should not have been named after myself. An inuyoukai values pack and recognition of its alpha."

She made a soft huffing sound of disbelief and settled herself into a more comfortable position.

Sesshoumaru moved back around the couch, studying the miko. Then he came to a decision. "Miko, remain here. This Sesshoumaru shall return momentarily."

At that, she gave him a glare and muttered, uncharacteristically, that she couldn't go anywhere even if she wanted to. Sesshoumaru declined to comment.

He returned to the miko's less than an hour later and walked inside to find her in exactly the same position he had left her in. Only this time his name sake was perched comfortably on her stomach, purring.

When he walked into her home, she barely opened her tired, red eyes, obviously on the verge of falling asleep once more, and offered him a weak smile. Her face seemed even more fevered than before. "Miko, I have something for you."

"Really?" she asked, sitting up and dislodging the cat from its perch.

Smiling at the fate of the now pissed off feline as it moved to the back of the couch, Sesshoumaru held out his offering. "For while you are ill, miko. To offer comfort."

Kagome stared in shocked awe at what lay in Sesshoumaru's hands. She'd never thought to see that particular object ever again and was about to live every fan girl's fantasy. For in his hands lay the mokomoko.

_Fin _

This particular piece is dedicated to SugarOo.


	6. Learning About Other Visitors

**Sesshoumaru Learns that Others Visit the Miko, Too**

Kagome answered the front door as she always did; with a wide smile on her face and a welcoming light in her eyes. The only difference was that her clothing, from the top of her shirt to half way down the jeans she wore, were soaking wet. Sesshoumaru raised a brow at her unusual appearance, but the miko did not seem inclined to let him in on what had occurred. Instead she moved aside and allowed him entrance into her home. "To what or whom do I owe the honor of this visit, Sesshoumaru?" she asked as she crossed the living room seeming to head back into her backyard.

Sesshoumaru followed without giving a reply. The miko seemed to expect this of him and merely shrugged her shoulders as she stepped out into the early morning sunlight.

The cause of her appearance soon became readily apparent as Sesshoumaru spied a large plastic tub half filled with water sitting on her back porch. Leashed in place nearby were the two mongrels looking very sorry with Kouga looking very wet, as well. Had she not bathed them recently? Sesshoumaru truly tried to stay away on bathing days. Kouga and Inuyasha tended to act up even more than usual when the miko decided they needed to be clean. "I was under the impression that the mongrels had already had their baths."

Kagome sat down on her knees by the tub, reaching for Inuyasha who tried his hardest to scoot out of the way. The leash keeping him in place let him fail in that endeavor and it wasn't long before Kagome had the pup firmly in hand and was dunking him back in the tub. Using one hand to hold the pup in place, she reached for a bottle of what appeared to be the foul smelling dog shampoo. Flicking the top open with her thumb, she poured a liberal amount of the shampoo across Inuyasha's back and then began rubbing the noxious stuff into the pup's fur. While she worked, she hummed a happy tune, content to ignore the taiyoukai staring down at her.

Sesshoumaru watched the miko work from a discreet distance away. He did not like the smell of the shampoo and knew it bothered the dogs' noses, as well, but who was he to argue on their behalf? He had no real love for the mutts.

It took her little time at all the thoroughly soap the pup's body and then rinse him off. When she was done, she put the puppy back on his leash and stood. Turning to face the taiyoukai, Kagome wondered how she should broach the subject. Then she decided to just get it out of the way. "Um, Sesshoumaru? I'm not all that certain about inuyoukai make-up, but you can't get fleas, can you?"

"Fleas?" he repeated, a little perturbed by her question. What exactly did she think he was?

"Yeah, fleas. Apparently, I've had a few Myogas come to visit."

_Myoga? Ah yes, one of his father's retainers._ "No, miko," he replied, his voice harder than he intended it to be, but really. The question was insulting. "This Sesshoumaru cannot get fleas."

_Fin_


	7. A Gift for a Daiyoukai

**A Gift for a Daiyoukai**

_Itch._

There it was again. That annoying feeling of something crawling on him, biting into him, that he had been enduring ever since his last visit to the miko's. He knew there was nothing there. He _knew _it was all in his mind, but, all the same, he couldn't help himself.

_Itch._

Every time he went over to the miko's, he found himself itching. It wasn't that he had the cursed fleas that Kagome had so pointedly asked him about. It was the thought of them that bothered him. Even though the miko swore up and down that the problem was contained, Sesshoumaru could not help himself.

_Itch._

Youkai fleas loved the taste of an inuyoukai.

_Itch._

The miko had tried to explain this all away for him. She told him about something called lice inspection when she was in school. Apparently humans had their own type of 'flea' and, on the day they were checked for them, the miko admitted that her head had always itched even though she knew she was clean. The miko reasoned it the same with him.

_Itch._

That had never helped him with his...problem.

_Itch_.

And so it continued. Every time he went over to the miko's, the undeniable urge to scratch madly came over him and he had to fight fang and claw to not tear into the miko's precious mongrels for forcing this situation upon him.

_Itch._

He could tell that the miko was finding his affliction—that she was so kind to have thrust upon him—quite hilarious and that she had to fight back her own laughter every time he raised a hand to himself. Finally he could tell that the miko was to her breaking point.

_Itch._

The miko watched him scratch an imagined flea and then jumped up from her seat, crossing the room with an air of excitement in her step. Sesshoumaru watched her progress while trying to secretly scratch at the itch that was crawling up his backside.

_Itch._

The miko returned to her seat shortly with a colorfully wrapped box in her lap. "Sesshoumaru," she said with a widening smile "I have the solution to your...problem."

_Itch._

The itch was becoming quite bothersome. "I do not have a problem, miko," he said as he tried to discreetly rub his back against her couch. The leather material of the couch was not working and he was about ready to launch himself against the nearest corner and rub against it for all he was worth.

_Itch._

"Very well, Sesshoumaru. You do not have a problem. Accept this as a gift then! I swear it will help."

_Itch._

"A gift? he said, letting his suspicions show in his voice as she laid the box down onto his lap. "And what would you deem this Sesshoumaru in need of?"

_Itch._

The miko remained silent, but a devilish light, that always meant nothing good, came to her eyes.

_Itch._

Realizing the miko was not going to expound, Sesshoumaru eyed the box the miko had plopped down onto his lap with a flourish of her hands. The miko's gifts tended to be oddly placed and usually degrading for his person. For some reason she delighted in finding ways to mock him... innocently. _Could such a thing be done? _Why he put up with her, he would never know. There was just something about her that drew him, though.

_Itch._

As the damned itch continued moving across his skin, Sesshoumaru stared down at the "gift" as if it might come alive and try to attack him at any moment. After some well placed prodding by the miko, though, he finally slit the wrapping paper open with his claws and moved it aside. He took the lid off the box and his eyes stared down with disbelief at what lay before him placed on some brightly colored tissue paper. "Miko," he growled. "What is this?"

_Itch._

"It's a flea collar, Sesshoumaru. For those invisible fleas you keep scratching at," she said through her laughter.

_Itch._

He dangled the offending object before him in his claws, quickly reducing the plastic contraption into nothing with his acids. "Miko, explain once more to this Sesshoumaru why I put up with you?"

_Itch._

The miko had the audacity to smile even more broadly at him. "Because you love me?" she teased.

_Itch._

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes at her response. Little did the miko know how right she was.

_Itch. _

_Itch. _

_Itch._

_**Fin**_

This one-shot is dedicated to all those who wanted me to torture Fluffy some more. I didn't exactly give him fleas, but I did give him the next best thing!

ElegantPaws says it best: _Reviews are fuel._


	8. The Miko Asks a Question

**The Miko Asks a Question**

Kagome was sitting on her back porch, sipping a rum and coke, as she watched her dogs romp around the backyard. She laughed as she watched Kouga try and catch a fly in his jaws and then the idea struck her. She now had a new question for Sesshoumaru.

Going inside, she called the taiyoukai and was glad when he agreed to come to her home for dinner. She set to work right away cleaning up her home and getting the evening meal ready. Knowing Sesshoumaru liked his steaks almost bloody rare, she cooked his last and smiled to herself when her door bell rang at the exact appointed time she and Sesshoumaru had discussed earlier on the phone.

Setting the last plate in place, she went to the door and opened it with a smile on her face. Never would she get use to having Sesshoumaru, of all youkai, in her home, but he was a welcomed blessing in disguise. While her writing had taken her mind away from the constant pain of missing her friends from the past ages, his presence offered her hope that the others were out there somewhere...maybe. It also gave her relief that she wasn't alone. "Good evening, moon doggie," she said as she opened the door wider to allow him entrance.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes at her new nickname for him, but said nothing about it. The miko had been reading those infernal fan fictions again and had been calling him 'moon doggie' in reference to one. She had told him she would stop calling him that when he read the story, but Sesshoumaru refused. He would just wait out the miko as he had far more patience than she. "Miko," he said in greeting.

They moved into her small dining area where the miko had already set the table. Sesshoumaru seated himself once the miko had sat down. The lovely smell of the steak, perfectly cooked to his likes, wafted up through the air. Knowing the miko expected some compliment, he looked over at her. "Acceptable," he said.

She smiled at his one word choice and her eyes shined. She knew what he meant with his words. They had spent much time together and the miko was slowly learning. "Excellent," she answered back.

The dinner was a silent affair. Afterwards, once he'd helped her carry the dishes to the kitchen and wash them, the miko drew him out into her back porch for glasses of wine. He sat down in one of the chairs she had out there and accepted the glass she offered him. Then the miko seated herself, but her body was fidgety. She had something on her mind that was dying to come out of her mouth. "Miko, tell this Sesshoumaru what it is that is on your mind."

"What? I can't have a friend over for dinner without wanting something?"

He just stared at her.

The miko blushed, faintly visible in the dying light of day, and then groaned to herself. She had to learn to control herself better! "Fine!" she said at last. "I do have a question for you."

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, preparing for whatever new atrocity the miko was about to commit.

"I was wondering," she began, "If you catch flies."

That was not what he had expected. "Flies, miko?"

"Yes. Like a dog."

He just stared at her, not comprehending what she was talking about. The miko's blush intensified but she wasn't sure why she was blushing. It wasn't as if she was asking him about licking anything. That thought caused her mind to wander in a truly perverted fashion and she forced herself to focus once more on the question at hand. "Well, Kouga and Inuyasha, when they see a fly, try and catch it...with their mouths. Do flies bother you like that?"

_Fin_

a/n: The moon doggie nickname is in honor of RhiannonoftheMoon's Cereal Box Romance. I love that story and wanted to offer some form of tribute to her as she is a terrific writer. If you haven't checked out her stories, do so. And that is an order!


	9. Trying to Tickle a Daiyoukai

**Trying to Tickle a Daiyoukai**

For some reason the miko had been poking him. And at the strangest and oddest of times. The action was never repeated after the first time and the miko tried to be "discreet" in her actions. Her mouth only moved into the giggling grin he knew she wanted to release when he looked at her after she had poked him.

And for some reason, the miko seemed determined to poke him along his ribs.

Sesshoumaru had been dealing with this strange turn of events for some weeks now. Every time he came over to the miko's or met her some place, she poked him at some point in time. It was never in the same place and it was never with the same force. The miko was searching for something, he was sure. What he wasn't sure about was what exactly the miko was after.

Then came the night that they had met for dinner and then gone to the miko's to watch a movie. Thankfully her circus of animals were either caged or put away for the movie time. She even allowed him to pick the movie...for once. Sesshoumaru gratefully picked something dealing with war and blood and death rather than the cutesy "chick-flicks"-- as they were called in this modern age-- that the miko normally made him suffer through.

As they settled onto her couch, side by side for once, with a bowl of very well buttered popcorn between them, Sesshoumaru felt the normal poke at his side. "Miko," he intoned as deadpan as he could manage since his brain was still trying to grasp what exactly the miko was searching for.

"Sesshoumaru?" she said back to him, sounding entirely too innocent to be true.

"What exactly are you trying to find on this Sesshoumaru?"

"Find?" she asked, trying her best to sound perplexed.

Sesshoumaru was not buying it for an instant. He had been around the miko too often now to think she had an innocent bone in her body. By the Kamis, what had happened to the naive miko he had known from five hundred years before?!?! "Yes. Find, miko. Why have you been poking at this Sesshoumaru for the past few weeks?"

She splayed a hand innocently over her very evil heart and fought back the grin trying to break forth across her lips. "I would _never_poke you, Sesshoumaru," she assured him as her other free hand slid along the leather backing of her couch aiming for his side once more.

Moving with his youkai speed, something the miko seemed to often forget about, he caught her hand right as her fingers were gathering into their normal poking position. Looking lazily down at her hand and then up to the almost cherry red face of the miko, he raised one eyebrow in questioning. "Yes?"

"I was merely reaching for some popcorn," she tried to excuse.

He gave her hand a light warning squeeze and then released her digits. "You are a terrible liar, miko."

She gave a snort, trying to show her injured dignity, and the once previously trapped hand continued on its course to the large bowl of popcorn that rested in his lap. "It is not my fault," she said as she popped a few pieces of popcorn into her mouth, "That you insist on being the dominant in everything."

"I do not insist."

"No," she agreed. "You just make it so."

He knew his own nature well. Had lived with it his entire life and so had damn well better! Still, the miko's view points on such things still manage to intrigue him. It had been centuries since another's thoughts on something had matter to him and so, whenever the situation presented himself, he followed through and pressed the miko for answers. "And how is that?"

She looked at him with disbelief and the disbelief was not a facade. "Are you serious?"

"And when is this Sesshoumaru not serious?" he asked as he pushed pause on the remote in his hand.

As if proving a point, she looked a the bowl of popcorn sitting in his lap and the remote in his hand. Sesshoumaru followed her gaze and then shrugged, as if whatever she was thinking mattered little. Of course what the miko thought mattered a great deal to him, for some unknown reason, but he wasn't about to let her know that. It wasn't in his personality to do so. When the miko noticed his casual disregard, she huffed and crossed her arms. "You always have to be the one 'in charge' whether or not you planned the activity or not," she finally voiced. "For example, the movie was my idea but here you are holding the popcorn and the remote."

"But it does not bother you that I do these things, miko."

"Well...no," she said after a minute of thought. "But you did ask for an example."

"Do you have another example?" he asked, fighting against the need to roll his eyes.

"Do I need another?" she shot back. "You act as any typical male."

The word typical was not one Sesshoumaru particularly liked. He was anything other than typical. And he was just about to open his mouth and argue on that point when the miko's now popcorn-free hand poked him in his side.

The miko had the audacity to laugh when he turned and looked at her, his mouth hanging open in stuttered response to her words as his mind adjusted to the fact that she had managed to poke him—yet _AGAIN_— and he hadn't seen it coming. And that was truthfully a bother because he, Sesshoumaru, was aware of everything around him at all times. "Woman," he finally managed to growl at her. "What exactly are you after?!"

"Nothing that you need concern yourself with," she said flippantly as she settled herself, resting comfortably against him.

He was just about to argue against that when the miko's hand swept out and stole the remote from his grasp. She managed to remove the pause from the movie right as he stole the remote back. "Mine," he growled as he grabbed it back out of her hand.

The miko laughed, playfully, and then quieted as the movie began.

They had been sitting there for several minutes, the movie well underway, when Sesshoumaru once more felt her finger pressing into his side, a little wiggle to the human digit as it tested itself against his ribs. Now what exactly what was the miko after?

Before he could voice his thoughts, once more, the miko turned and looked at him, a sly smile on her face. "I don't suppose," she said, the 'I'm completely innocent and you can trust me with anything' tone back in her voice, "That you would allow me to give you a foot massage after the movie, Sesshoumaru?"

He grunted in response, turning his attention back to the television in front of him. After a decent pause and still feeling the questioning eyes of the miko on him, he nodded his head ever so slightly. All he wanted to do was to watch the movie and enjoy his very well buttered popcorn. If giving into the miko on this odd request gave him that respite, he would say anything. "If you insist."

"I do," she said, her wicked smile back in place. "Oh boy, do I ever."

For some reason, Sesshoumaru found himself almost afraid. What had he just gotten himself into now?

_Fin_


	10. Rubbing a Daiyoukai the Right Way?

**Rubbing a Taiyoukai...the _Right_ Way?**

It took her some coaxing to maneuver Sesshoumaru into the proper 'foot-rubbing' position when the movie's credits finally rolled across the television screen. First he'd argued that he wanted to watch the extras of the DVD. Kagome had killed that easily enough by telling him he could borrow the movie and watch both it and its extras to his heart's content. Then he had balked of the idea of laying down with his feet on top of her legs. Why? It wasn't a dignified position for a person such as himself. Kagome had rolled her eyes at this one. "And how," she had argued back, "Am I suppose to rub your feet if they are firmly connected to the ground, moon doggie?"

At the sound of her nickname for him, his eyes had narrowed and Kagome felt her suddenly thought of but well conceived plan slipping away. She hurried to correct her mistake by calling upon his honor. "You said you would allow me this pleasure, Sesshoumaru," she reminded him. "As a taiyoukai and Lord of the Western Lands, your word is as good as gold."

"My word is better," he snapped back, almost angrily laying down onto his back on the couch.

Most reluctantly and stiffly, he placed his legs across her lap and Kagome smiled reassuringly at him. Secretly, to herself, she was thinking _"Welcome to my parlor said the spider to the fly..." _

Then came her next obstacle-- removing the taiyoukai's footwear.

When she'd begun denuding his feet, Sesshoumaru had jerked them back. "What are you doing now, miko?"

Kagome sighed, growing annoyed with the whole situation but determined to see this through to the end. Even if she found him not to be ticklish, she would get to see his feet. Why was she so determined to see his feet? Because she never had before! And Kagome had always loved trying new things. One could traverse time without growing a little bit of curiosity and courage. "I cannot massage your feet with your shoes still on, Sesshoumaru. They must come off."

Out of his normal character, Sesshoumaru mumbled something she could not understand-- nor did she think she wanted to know-- and then laid back with an overly dramatic sigh. What was wrong with her youkai this evening?!?! Deciding to ignore his obvious decision to turn into a spoiled child, Kagome quickly and methodically removed his footwear and gazed down upon his feet for the first time in her entire life.

For someone who had walked for a greater amount of the centuries that made up his life, Sesshoumaru had some very pretty feet. They were, quite simply put, as perfect as the rest of him and Kagome was almost content to merely stare at them and forgo her underhanded scheme to see if Sesshoumaru was ticklish. Then the taiyoukai opened his mouth. "I have never been given a massage, miko, but I believe the process is not completed with one's eyes."

She could hear the conceded smirk in his tone and knew she'd been caught ogling his feet. But they were so nice looking! Shaking her head to clear it of her gutter thoughts, she slid her eyes to the right to see if Sesshoumaru was watching her. Thankfully, he wasn't. His head was laying back upon the pillow she'd fetched for him and his eyes were closed. His hands were resting comfortably across his midsection and his chest was rising and falling evenly. "I was merely letting them breathe, Sesshoumaru," Kagome retorted as she slowly took one hand and, using just her nails, traced it lightly atop his right foot from his toes to his ankle and back again.

"Are you accusing this Sesshoumaru of having a noxious foot odor, miko?"

Kagome laughed at that. As if anything foul smelling would dare to think it could penetrate the perfection that was Sesshoumaru. "Never would I dare such," she answered lightly as she took her other hand and began running both sets of nails up and down the top of his feet. She realized she was losing focus, but it wasn't every day a girl was allowed to play with the feet of Sesshoumaru.

"I believe you would dare much, miko," he replied, an almost inaudible sigh passing through his lips as her nails stroked downward once more.

Kagome smiled at that and moved both her hands to the right foot. Grasping it firmly in her hands, she used her fingers to massage the ball. Kagome figured that he might prove to be ticklish if he were relaxed. And, since he'd never had a massage before, she'd give him a treat before satisfying her own curiosity.

Moving the positioning of her hands, she began rubbing her thumbs in tight, controlled circles over the sole of his foot, slowly working her way downward and using more pressure on the ball of his foot and his heel. Making sure not to neglect a single part of the perfect specimen of a male foot sitting on her lap, Kagome engrossed herself into the massage, not paying the taiyoukai the least bit of attention beyond what lay before her. After kneading the sole of his foot with her fist, making sure to pay his perfect arch just the right amount of attention, she worked upwards towards his clawed toes, handling each one individually and making sure not to cut herself. Once she was satisfied that each digit had been handled appropriately, Kagome ran her fingers lightly over the skin of his foot once more before turning her attention to his left foot.

She repeated the process, still involved in her work and enjoying the feeling of his skin. Really, it was criminal for a man to have such soft skin! It wasn't until she was finishing up the massage of his left foot that Kagome chanced a glance at Sesshoumaru.

He was asleep.

"Well," Kagome said to herself since the only other pair of ears there was sleeping rather soundly. "That was unexpected."

Not being able to help herself, she ran her nails ever so lightly up Sesshoumaru's right foot and smiled to herself when it twitched.

_Fin._


	11. Waking Up To Sesshoumaru

a/n: I couldn't resist!

**Waking Up To Sesshoumaru**

Kagome dreamed that night. Weird dreams. Maybe it was because she'd fallen asleep watching one of the Star Wars movies, but she kept dreaming over and over again that Sesshoumaru was Darth Vader. And, for some reason, each time the dream repeated itself, she shot Han Solo and then went all 'I love you so much' all over 'Darth Vader' before being shot in the back by her comrades—fellow rebel fighters. Of course, she always recovered from being shot with no pain whatsoever and was welcomed back with open arms into the bevy of the rebels once more.

It was an awkward dream to have and she woke up with the day, because years of hunting shards had erased her body's knowledge that sleeping in was a good thing, knowing this day would be just one of those that she would either want to hurry up and end or never want to stop at all.

With that in mind, Kagome got up out of bed and the first thing she noticed was her lack of bed mates. Now, normally, she had to fight tooth and nail for a spot on her own bed because the rest of it was taken up by furry bodies. However they seemed to have all abandoned her during the night. Did she move in her sleep because of the weird dreams she kept having?

After showering and taking care of all her other morning activities, Kagome, still thinking of her dream, decided to go and check on line to see if some site on there could offer her some insight to her dream's meaning. Then, as she made to walk out of her bedroom, she remembered the taiyoukai that might still be asleep on her couch. She didn't think he'd wake up and leave during the night, but he'd never fallen asleep over at her house, either. Kagome hadn't even been sure that Sesshoumaru _did_ sleep until he'd passed out in front of her.

Putting on her house shoes, Kagome left her bedroom with a smile on her face, picturing the first ever breakfast meal to be shared between she and Sesshoumaru. Rounding the corner of the hallway, she cast a brief glance towards the couch, her mind seeing that Sesshoumaru was still asleep there, and continued on towards the kitchen.

Then she came to a skidding stop, her house shoes not finding purchase on the wooden floor of of her home, and rounded about, goggle eyed and all.

She stared, mouth slightly parted in shock, at a sight she knew she would never forget. _NEVER_.

After Sesshoumaru had passed out the night before, Kagome had very stealthily slid out from underneath his feet, resting them comfortably back down on her couch. She'd fetched a blanket for Sesshoumaru and, after spreading it out on top of him, had gone to bed herself.

Her taiyoukai was still asleep on the couch, yes. Only he was no longer alone. Kouga and Inuyasha had abandoned her to sleep amongst the tangled lower limbs of Sesshoumaru, making the couch look like a literal dog pile. Fluffy, as she had taken to calling the cat when the real Sesshoumaru was around—because, really, two Sesshoumarus _was_ a bit much, was perched in a comfortable ball of fur on top of Sesshoumaru's chest. Sesshoumaru's hands were, amazingly, curled almost protectively around the cat, every once in a while gently stroking the soft fur. Did he think Fluffy was mokomoko-sama?

The cat's tail was extended slightly beyond his balled up body and was flicking, ever so slightly, across the taiyoukai's face. And when that happened, Sesshoumaru's feet would give a little kick and something akin to a soft growl would come from his mouth. Of course his movements disturbed the dogs laying haphazardly across his legs and they, too, would give a little kick and matching growl of their own. Then, once Sesshoumaru had settled back down and fallen back into a restful state, the process would repeat itself.

Covering her own mouth to stifle her laughter, Kagome began backing up to escape the scene for the haven of her room—for a good laugh, of course—when Fluffy's head lifted. The cat's amber eyes looked over at her and she could have sworn she saw the most victorious look in them. He seemed to be saying, quite clearly, that he was, indeed, the better as he gave his tail yet another flick.

Oh, where was her camera when she needed it!?

_Fin_


	12. Christmas With Sesshoumaru

**Christmas With Sesshoumaru**

Sesshoumaru entered the miko's domain, his nose wrinkling at the unusual smells filling the area. He looked towards the direction of the scent and was surprised to see a Christmas tree seemingly filling half of the miko's living room. It was elaborately decorated and filled with lights and sparkling bulbs. "Miko," he said as he moved around the indoor tree. "What is that?"

"It is a Christmas tree, Sesshoumaru," she said as she accepted his jacket from him and hung it by her door. "What did you think it was?"

He ignored the miko's question. "I was under the impression that you grew up on a shrine."

"And I did," Kagome answered. "But there is something about the Christian holiday that appeals to me."

"What would that be?"

"The giving of gifts," she answered with a flourish of her hands and a sigh. "I have always enjoyed gifting people and seeing the expressions on their faces."

"That is entirely commercial," Sesshoumaru commented as he helped himself to some of the wine the miko had left sitting out. He knew she wouldn't mind.

"Perhaps. But I have always enjoyed pleasing people."

His eyes took notice of the several gifts piled underneath the miko's tree and Sesshoumaru fought against the need to know who, exactly, had been gifting _his _miko. In the end, he could not resist. "You seem to have quite another collection," he said nonchalantly as he sipped at his wine.

At that, Kagome smiled and her face lit up with happiness. "They are for my babies," she said by way of explanation. "Two for each of them."

At that, Sesshoumaru's brow rose. The miko _would _buy gifts for her pets. "Even Jaken?" he asked, his eyes straying to the toad in his glass case.

Kagome grimaced. "Well, he has an extra batch of live crickets on hold for him."

After a moment's pause, Kagome's face lit up and she danced towards the tree. Sesshoumaru couldn't help but enjoy the warmth and feeling that radiated from the woman before him. She filled him will emotions he'd rather not feel, but damn did it feel good to have them where she was concerned. Never had he thought _that _would be. "What are you about, miko?" he asked as he watched her suspiciously.

She laughed at the expression on his face and fetched a gift from underneath the tree. It was brightly wrapped in red and white striped paper with a homemade candy cane cut-out decorating the top of it. There was also a shimmering bright red ribbon "holding" the package together. She handed the gift over to him and reflexes made him take it into his hands. Sesshoumaru gave the gift a tentative sniff, remembering the flea collar the miko had given him before. "What is this, miko?"

She gave him an exasperated look. "It's a Christmas gift, of course!"

"But what is it?"

"Nothing embarrassing," she quickly assured him, "Or derogatory. Those gifts were just in fun. This is serious."

She punctuated the end of her sentence with a nod of her head and Sesshoumaru fought against the urge to smile at her oh-so serious look. He glanced back down at the package in his clawed hands to distract himself and found his other hand reaching for the ribbon covering it. The miko moved faster than Sesshoumaru thought she could as she darted her own hands out to stop his. "You can't open it yet, Sesshoumaru!" she admonished.

Never liking to be told what to do, Sesshoumaru bristled at her directive and his spine stiffened. "If the gift is for this Sesshoumaru," he said in his best lordly voice. "Then I may open it whenever I so choose."

"It doesn't work that way," she answered, not at all concerned by his tone of voice. "You have to wait until Christmas day."

"And why is that?"

"Because!" was her answer. "That's just the way things are done."

Truthfully, he was intrigued by the gift from the miko. She had seemed so sincere when she had stated that it was nothing like her flea collar gift and he wanted to know what it was. Always he had been a curious youkai, as it was in his nature to be so, but little had he found throughout his long life that truly held a bit of intrigue and that was worthy of contemplation. Of course, the miko from over five hundred years ago had been one such intrigue and was continuing to be so in this day and age. "Perhaps that is just the way of humans...," Sesshoumaru said as he made another attempt to slice at the wrapping paper.

Her hand settled possessively in between he and the gift once more. "Sesshoumaru," she fairly growled at him. "Do not make me treat you like a wayward pup!"

Now that did have Sesshoumaru growling at the miko. He was centuries her senior and yet she dared to call him a 'wayward pup'? If possible, his spine stiffened even more. "This Sesshoumaru is no mere pup, miko."

She smiled, almost motherly, at him and that had him growling anew. He was not like that kitsune she had taken under her wing hundreds of years ago! He was a youkai grown and was merely indulging himself where the miko was concerned. Or was he....?

Her hand that was not protecting the gift from his claws reached out and splayed itself across his chest, over his heart. Her eyes were entirely heart filled when she addressed him. "I know you're not," she said, totally out of her normally playful character. "But I would truly appreciate it, if you would wait until the twenty-fifth to open this."

"And why is that?" he insisted, wanting to know.

"Because traditions are important to me and I want you to have something to open on Christmas."

"This Sesshoumaru has lived for centuries without."

"And now you will live, for at least a few decades, with."

Sesshoumaru snapped his mouth shut as his mind whirled. He'd never figured the miko's human existence into their "gatherings". It almost saddened him as he realized, again, that each day was another day less he had with her. The need to please this female reared up within him and he found himself nodding his head in agreement. "This Sesshoumaru shall wait then, miko."

The smile she gave him was blinding and she clapped her hands together with excitement. "Great!" she answered as she practically danced back across the room.

Sesshoumaru fought the smile that threatened to grace his face.

_Fin_

a/n: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year's Everyone!!! And yes, this wasn't exactly on the humorous side, but you know...another one always follows that is (or tries to be!) ! lol My love and wishes for peace to you all.


	13. How to Shut Up a Miko

a/n: **PLEASE READ FIRST!!!**This one is a little on the mature side of life. Nothing too graphic, but it's not for the kiddies. And a thanks to Fortunesque for gifting my gutter marbles with the image. On FF, according to their guidelines, this would probably be rated M. So, you've been warned. If you have a problem with this, please let me know.

**How to Shut-Up a Miko**

They had been having a pleasant early evening. Sesshoumaru had come over for dinner once more. Kagome was beginning to think the daiyoukai was addicted to her cooking. He seemed to come over for meals more and more often. Of course, she didn't mind a bit! She enjoyed his company, the reminders of her past life he offered her, and the new memories he created for her. _Such is friendship, _she thought with a bemused sigh. Who would have ever foreseen this happening? Sure as hell not her!

After dinner, since the weather was pleasant, they'd retired to her back porch to sip the warmed sake Sesshoumaru had brought with him and talk. Kagome had left the French doors wide open so she could hear the ding of her email as she was expecting something from her editor tonight.

They were just getting into a heated debate over the recent economy issues, Sesshoumaru having his own ideas on the matter that varied greatly from hers, when she heard the tell-tale chime that signaled she had mail. Holding up her hand, Kagome gave him a pointed look. "I have to check my email, but I am not done speaking on this subject. Far from it, moon doggie!"

Sesshoumaru just gave her a bland look, that actually spoke volumes, and sipped his sake with a noncommittal, "Hn."

_Kami, sometimes she hated that sound! _Growling to herself and earning a bemused look from the daiyoukai that she missed, Kagome stood and moved inside. She'd placed her laptop on a table near the doors for easy access. A quick swipe of her fingers across the touch pad cleared the screen saver and let her view her email account.

What she received were two things. First was what she had been waiting for. Her editor was letting her know the print date of her next book and letting her know of anything else they would need from her. The second was from her fan mail account. While her fans sent in letters, their own stories, and illustrations of her characters to her fan mail account at the Publishing House, there was so much that Kagome could not possible answer it all. Her editor had underlings who viewed what was sent in and passed on interesting things to him. Then he, after checking them over himself and deeming whether or not they were worth her time, would pass them on to her. Apparently, her editor had found a drawing that he just couldn't resist sending on to her. At least that is what his briefly typed note said.

Brows drawn in both worry (because she knew the Miroku-like ways of her editor) and curiosity, Kagome clicked the attached link which would bring the artwork up on the screen. In the past he had sent her some very good ones and Kagome was sure that this would be no exception. There were even a few that she found for sale on-line that she'd purchased because she loved them so much.

Then the artwork popped up on the screen.

"Oh," she said, the first thing coming to her brain and then spitting directly out of her mouth. "Oh. My."

It was a beautiful drawing, to be sure. Done with what appeared to be colored pencils, it was also very graphic. And it was also of her and Sesshoumaru.

But like a car wreck or seeing someone getting arrested, Kagome could just not look away.

The drawing was of her, naked, straddling an equally naked Sesshoumaru and in the middle of a committing a very carnal act. Nothing of Sesshoumaru was left to the imagination while she, Kagome thankfully thought, had only her backside exposed. She was raised up, partial impaled upon a member no man—human or not—could ever possess. Her eyes were closed with a look of pure bliss on her face as her tongue skated across Sesshoumaru's mouth while his clawed hands gripped her backside rather possessively. And the look upon his face! "Oh my," she said again, taking a step back from the computer as if the imagined scene of the artist would burn her.

So lost in the drawing had she become that Kagome did not register Sesshoumaru standing and moving behind her until she bumped into him. Turning her head to look at him, sure she was blushing ten shades of red, she tried to stammer out an explanation as to why she was looking at something like this, that was obviously of both her and him, while she prayed in her mind that Sesshoumaru would not be slaughtering her laptop for the probable indignity the work implied to his sense of self.

All that came out was gibberish as she realized that Sesshoumaru was staring intently at the screen of her computer. "Fans!" she managed to finally gasp, her voice sounding strained to her own ears.

She made to move back to her computer to close the file when Sesshoumaru reached out and stopped her, his eyes still intently upon the screen and his head cocked slightly to the side. "Sesshoumaru," she said, intending to finish her sentence with a whispered _please don't kill my laptop._

The daiyoukai interrupted her, though, with a thoughtful sounding, "Hn,"

"Hn?" Kagome repeated, dumbfounded by his reaction.

"Very fine attention to detail and the line work is exceptional. The lighting of the piece is exquisite, too."

_What? _Kagome thought, sure that she was hearing things.

"But," continued Sesshoumaru, his eyes still never leaving the screen. "I do not remember your ass being that....pert."

Her mouth dropped open...along with the rest of her world.

_Fin._

_** the picture being referenced in this is Lost in the Woods by Zyephen. She's an amazing artist. _


	14. Placating a Miko, Part One

**Placating the Miko, Part One**

Sesshoumaru decided that he would never understand women—human or youkai. Females were nonsensical beings, all of them, that the kamis had placed upon this earth to torture the perfectly logical and sane males.

After he had simply stated the honest truth about the artwork upon _her_ laptop, she had turned to him—after recovering her wits—hands on hips and fire in her eyes and glared. A whispered 'excuse me?' had passed through her lips and then she had demanded to know how he would know anything about how her 'assets' use to look. She had even used his name and not that ridiculous "pet name" she'd taken to calling him.

Ignoring her budding anger, he had replied just as honestly.

"This Sesshoumaru can recall many times you were down on your hands and knees before me, miko. With such a short skirt, how could I not have noticed your assets?" he replied, using her own descriptive word back at her.

Instead of placating the miko and lessening her ire, it had only seemed to increase it and Sesshoumaru left the miko's that evening feeling...and _how_ he hated the term but nothing fit better....in the dog house.

Now how to get back within the miko's good graces?

He'd never much cared for doing so before with anyone else in his long life. He spoke the truth, as it was, and nothing more. He did not pretty up his words, but offered blunt truth no matter how harsh. This would be a challenge, but he, Sesshoumaru, had always thrived when it came to trials and tests.

And the miko, with her unusual ways and strangely flitting emotional and mental status that was unlike any _other_ female, was most definitely a confrontation worthy of he.

Victory would be his. All he had to do was find the weak point in the miko's defenses....

PTM

After days of trying to think of the best way to get back within the miko's good graces, he'd finally faced the fact that her weakest point was her damn collection of furry and not-so-furry beasts of smelly and annoying burden. He also knew that the miko was to go out of town for a week due to the recent release of her latest book. Her editor had wanted her to tour and promote it.

Now, usually, when the miko left town for once these _things_ she would hire a pet care service to take care of her animals for her while she was gone. This time, however, Sesshoumaru had volunteered his own services as a way of placating the miko without having to apologize (which he never did!) for his entirely honest words that had somehow offended her.

When he'd made the offer he had been quite pleased with her surprised expression and the smell of happiness that had rolled of her in waves. Then she'd ruined the effect by asking if he thought he was the competent man for the job. To which he'd replied, "This Sesshoumaru is competent in all things. Taking care of these beasts for a week will be no trouble at all."

She'd laughed at him.

In the end, though, he convinced the miko to let him do this for her. On the day of her leaving, he'd met with her at her home and she'd presented him with fives pages of pet care notes that included the personal likes and dislikes of each animal and another page that listed each animals' vets and patient information. At the bottom of the last page was a number for the pet care service. "Just in case," she'd said when he noticed them.

After walking Kagome out to the awaiting taxi that would take her to the airport, Sesshoumaru had turned around, game face on, and walked back into the miko's den of insanity ready to get himself easily back onto her good side. They were simple beasts on a level far lower than himself in all ways. What could possibly go wrong?

_To be continued...._

a/n: Yes, a two-parter shot. And, as all horror movie fans know, asking what could possibly go wrong is one of the very worst question to ask. Am currently working on the next installment, but couldn't resist posting this now. If you have suggestions for what could go wrong, do tell. I will take all into consideration and maybe work some of them in to the nearly completed next piece. A mind alone is hardly powerful. A mind combined with the efforts of others is something to be reckoned with.


	15. Placating a Miko, Part Two

**Placating a Miko, Part Two**

Kagome eagerly walked into her home, not sure of what to expect but glad to see it still standing and whole since Sesshoumaru had been trapped here, by his own wishes, for the better part of a week. Her travel plans had changed and she'd elected to come home instead of staying on as a surprise to the daiyoukai.

When no one came to greet her, she set her suitcases down by the door and walked over to where her lovebirds were flirting with one another.

They seemed healthy still and obviously Sesshoumaru had changed the paper out in the cage recently.

Then her eyes traveled across the room to where Jaken sat in his cage. Was it her or did the toad seem larger than the last time she saw him?

Shrugging to herself, Kagome wandered back to her bedroom where Shippou and Rin were caged. The two ferrets were passed out in a pile of fur together, obviously worn out. Their cage was clean, as well. Maybe all her worry over Sesshoumaru taking care of her animals had been for nothing?

Walking back into the living room, she glanced out the French doors and found the rest of her family and the daiyoukai.

Kouga and Inuyasha were sitting side by side with their tails wagging and their heads following the pacing daiyoukai in front of them. Kagome had never seen them act like that before. They were never this obedient! _It must be a dog thing_, she thought as her eyes sought out her cat.

Fluffy was seated on top of the patio table, lazily cleaning himself. The cat's eyes, though, were also trained on the daiyoukai and Kagome found herself curious as to what Sesshoumaru was telling them that had all her animals so enthralled.

Very carefully, surprised that Sesshoumaru hadn't sensed her arrival yet, she silently turned the knob of the door and let it open just a crack so that she could hear. Sesshoumaru was still pacing in front of the animals, every once in a while pointing a clawed finger at them. When the door was open wide enough so that she could hear what he was saying, Kagome stilled herself.

"Let this Sesshoumaru repeat himself once more," the daiyoukai said, looking pointedly at the canines in front of him as if they were an army he was addressing. He was ignoring the cat, though. If he had looked up towards the feline, Kagome knew she would have been caught. "You, Inuyasha, will say nothing of peeing on the miko's bed. Nor of any of other places you chose to relieve yourself while this Sesshoumaru was absent. And you, Kouga, will say nothing of the mess you made in the miko's kitchen and bathroom. Nor will either of you mention digging up the miko's prized flowers. And we will never mention the escaping nor recapturing of the birds."

He turned away from them, presenting them with his back. "It shall be known that this Sesshoumaru retained perfect control of the situation. There will be no mentioning of sleeping with this Sesshoumaru. Nor will it be known that this Sesshoumaru shared ice cream with the damned cat. And you will most definitely mention nothing to the miko about Rin and Shippou killing Jaken. This Sesshoumaru has corrected all problems. Nothing will seem amiss to the miko."

Kagome was smiling until Jaken was mentioned. She _knew_ the toad seemed bigger!

Closing the door just as quietly as she'd opened it, she opened it once more, wide this time, and pasted a smile on her face. "Mommy's home!" she called out.

Immediately her dogs raced over to her, whining and licking her with excitement. Sesshoumaru spun around to face her, his face as impassive as always. "You are early," he said.

"My schedule changed and I thought I'd surprise you," she said as she straightened from greeting her dogs. Her eyes looked around her backyard, settling on the plants Sesshoumaru had mentioned. The flowers had come from the shrine, a new home gift from her mother. They seemed to be recovering from their recent brush with death, but she'd need to baby them some more if they wanted to live long and happy lives. Then she strolled over to Fluffy, rubbing the purring cat underneath his chin. "Everything seems fine here."

"Did you expect otherwise, miko?" he asked, his tone as lofty as always.

_Damn, he's good_, Kagome thought. If she hadn't heard otherwise, she would have thought the week had been a breeze for him. She wondered what else had happened while she'd been away. Obviously Sesshoumaru had been lecturing her pets for quite some time. "Of course not. As you said, you are more than competent for the job. Now I think I'd like a glass of wine. Would you care for some, Sesshoumaru?"

"This Sesshoumaru shall fetch it for you. Sit, miko."

_She really should have paid more attention to her surroundings_, Kagome thought. What had Kouga done in the kitchen? "Okay," she agreed all too easily.

Making her way into her living room, she sat down in her customary spot and waited, her eyes following Sesshoumaru. The birds tweeted and fluttered about nervously when the daiyoukai neared and she wondered how he'd trapped them back within the cage again.

He glared at the panicking birds before returning to her with a glass of wine. Kagome accepted it and knew right away that this wasn't wine she'd had stocked before. "This Sesshoumaru took it upon himself to restock your wine cabinet, miko. Your supply was lacking of some of the finer tastes."

"Thank you," Kagome replied, knowing what Kouga had done and choosing to ignore the insult to her wine selection. The dog had a sweet tooth for wines. Sesshoumaru must have helped himself to some and left the wine cabinet unlatched. He obviously had not read his instructions. If he had, he would have known about Kouga and bottles of wine. No wine bottle was safe from that dog when he had open access to it. If her entire cabinet needed to be restocked, it was a wonder the dog was still alive and it was no wonder he'd made a mess in her bathroom, either. It was the first place he went to when he wasn't feeling well.

She sipped the wine and deliberately let her eyes move over to Jaken's cage. The new Jaken was sitting atop the old Jaken's favorite rock. It wasn't as if she'd been very attached to the old one. He was only a toad, after all, and never offered much of a relationship, but still. No animal deserved to die at the paws and jaws of Rin and Shippou. The ferrets were as rambunctious as the two children had been. "My, Jaken certainly seems healthy."

"He is a toad."

"And bigger than he was six days ago."

"He is only a toad," Sesshoumaru reiterated.

"But his coloring is slightly off. Maybe I should take him to his vet?"

"The toad has a vet?"

"Oh yes," Kagome answered with a nod of her head as she stood and moved over to the glass case. "He's a specialist and very familiar with Jaken's breed. I didn't think to leave you with that information as Jaken is really no trouble at all the take care of."

"This Sesshoumaru shall take care of that for you."

"It's really no problem, Sesshoumaru," Kagome said, wondering when the daiyoukai would give up the charade.

"As the animal has fallen into disrepair on this Sesshoumaru's watch," he insisted. "I shall take him to see his doctor."

_Fallen into disrepair is a nice twist of words_, Kagome thought, _as the original Jaken had probably been torn to shreds. _Grimacing to herself at the mental picture that provided her, she wondered where they'd stashed the toad's body and how long it had been before Sesshoumaru had found him.

Kagome finished off her wine and set the empty glass aside. She noticed that Kouga made no move towards her glass as he usually did. Perhaps letting him have his fill had been a good thing after all? He _was_ still alive.

She decided against confronting the daiyoukai over the death of her toad. He'd spent the week cleaning up after a puppy who liked to pee everywhere when left alone, a drunk dog who probably threw up and pooped all over her bathroom for days, two killer ferrets, and he'd shared ice cream with her cat, one of Fluffy's favorite treats. Even though her birds were probably mentally and emotionally scarred now, some things could be overlooked. She'd just put them in a different room when Sesshoumaru came back over.

And he'd done all of this, gone through all of this, just for her....

Smiling at the daiyoukai, who was looking at her as if her head might spin around on her neck, Kagome moved over to where he was stiffly standing. "I suppose Jaken will be fine and there's no need to call his doctor," she conceded. "He is, after all, only a toad. And thank you for taking care of my babies for me. I couldn't have asked for a better sitter."

He seemed to relax slightly at her words, but Kagome just couldn't let it go without one last punch. "I'm going out of town for two weeks in a couple of months. Are you available to sit again, Sesshoumaru?"

_Fin._

a/n: My ferret killed a toad once that was unlucky enough to somehow find its way into my home. No idea how it got inside, but George was very pleased with himself. He put the toad in his food dish (where I originally had Jaken written as being found). Also, as a side note, I learned recently that Sesshoumaru's "proper title" is daiyoukai, not taiyoukai-- as taiyoukai basically means "fish youkai". LC apologizes profusely (with much bowing and feet kissing) to Fluffy!! So, henceforth, he will be labeled as a daiyoukai and, when I have the time and inclination, I shall go back and change the taiyoukais to daiyoukais.


	16. Playing Games With Sesshoumaru

**Playing Games with Sesshoumaru**

It had been a foolish decision on her part. She had made the dare, the challenge. Never in her thoughts had it once occurred to her that the daiyoukai's instinct, basic nature if you will, would clamor for such ardent victory. It bordered on insane...almost. Of course, she couldn't very well view this somewhat skewered need to slaughter her as undeserving. For several months now she had poked and prodded the daiyoukai, wanting to see how much he could take and when he'd snap. Why had she wanted this? Kagome was not sure. Maybe during her years of life and death situations while chasing after jewel shards and Naraku she had developed a taste for danger?

And now she was paying for it.

Eying the glass in front of her with a look of intense concentration, Kagome picked up the coin and held it lightly in her fingers. They had abandoned the comfort of the couches in favor of the floor. Sesshoumaru was seated across from her, with the table in between them, looking as reposed as always. His normal visage was marred only by the smirk of imminent victory that Kagome so wanted to wipe off his face. Losing was never something she took well. "I am waiting, miko," he intoned, his voice grating on her nerves.

"This would be easier to do if you were silent, youkai," Kagome shot back, her voice lacking any true malice.

He made a noise that almost sounded like a snort and casually leaned back, making quite a show of settling himself in for a long wait. "Your aim will be as dismal as always, miko."

Kagome closed one eye, concentrating on the task at hand. Taking a deep breath, she let the coin in her hand fly. It bounced against the wood of the table and shot up, landing squarely into the glass. With a hoot of laughter, Kagome looked towards the daiyoukai. "Take that, Sesshoumaru!"

He grunted and then picked up the warmed cup of sake that had been sitting close at hand. After downing the sake, he fished the coin out of the glass of water with two long elegant fingers. To Kagome it didn't even look as if he aimed when he bounced the coin once more, landing it squarely into the glass as well. His golden eyes looked to her filled with satisfaction. "It is your turn, miko," came the oh-so smug voice of the daiyoukai sitting across from her.

Putting on a brave face, Kagome reached for her shot glass. While Sesshoumaru preferred to drink sake or wine, she had chosen liquor for the evening and was now regretting her decision as her fingers picked up the full to the brim shot glass. Wishing she had not provoked this game with—what _she_ had believed to be—harmless teasing, Kagome took the shot she was due for. Grimacing at the taste, she chased it with a drink of her soda.

Sesshoumaru noticed her expression and the smile on his face widened. "Is something the matter, miko?"

"Go screw yourself, moon doggie," she shot back to the overconfident daiyoukai before fishing out the coin. "You will fail in this endeavor."

"We shall see, miko," he said as he watched her take aim once more.

Unfortunately for her, at the moment she made to let go of her coin the telephone rang, breaking through the heavy but companionable silence that had descended amongst them. The startling noise caused her to release her coin with much more force than she meant to. The coin bounced on the table and then sailed through the air only to be caught by the daiyoukai before it hit him in the face.

His smirk grew as he pushed another almost too full shot glass of liquor her way. "Drink, miko," he ordered.

Grumbling at his smugness, Kagome took the shot and downed it as fast as she could. Before the glass had even hit the table, Sesshoumaru had the coin in hand and had landed it effortlessly into the glass of water. "And again, it seems."

As Kagome took another shot in hand, she glared at the daiyoukai sitting across from her. "Are you trying to get me drunk, Sesshoumaru?"

"I never try, miko. I do. And the purpose of this was not to get you drunk."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Kagome mumbled before taking the shot. This one almost had her retching, the smell of alcohol hitting her nose and then her stomach before the shot was even anywhere close to her lips. "I still don't understand how you can shoot sake."

"It is a far better drink than the filth you are drinking," he answered as he watched her miss her bounce with the coin. "Again, it seems."

Kagome groaned to herself. She didn't think she could manage another shot without making a fool of herself and throwing up. "I don't think I can," she groaned.

He raised one eye brow in his mocking way. "Do you accept defeat so easily then, miko?"

Her _accept_ defeat? _She_ who had aided in the ending of that evil Naraku and survived life in the Feudal ages of Japan? "Never!" she yelled out, slightly louder than normal. Her hand nearly missed grabbing the shot glass, but Sesshoumaru took hold of it and placed it firmly around the glass.

Offering him a look of both annoyance and thanks, Kagome picked up the shot glass and brought it to her lips. The smell of the alcohol once more almost had her retching, but she persevered and managed to down yet another. How many had that been already? She'd lost count a while ago.

She'd barely set the shot glass back down before Sesshoumaru had the two glasses refilled again and was pushing the coin her way. "I call for a truce," Kagome said at last.

"This Sesshoumaru accepts nothing but complete victory."

Groaning to herself, Kagome wondered if there was a way out of this that did not involve sacrificing her pride. Then she decided to screw her pride. She couldn't drink any more. "And this Kagome gives it...." she said as her vision blurred once again, making her singular shot glass turn into several.

"I am sorry, miko. This Sesshoumaru did not hear what you said."

She glared at him, perfectly aware that the daiyoukai's hearing was exceptional and that he had, indeed, heard every word she'd said. "I concede to your higher drinking skills, Sesshoumaru," she repeated. "You can out drink me any day."

He looked more than smug when he said, "Youkai bodies are not like a human's. We have a higher tolerance."

Kagome stuck out her tongue at Sesshoumaru and stumbled to her feet. She had to grip the couch to steady herself as the past few shots finally caught up her brain. Glaring at the amused looking daiyoukai, she turned to go to the bathroom, saying over her shoulder, "One of these days, moon doggie. One of these days..."

Of course, she should have been watching where she was going and not taunting Sesshoumaru as she walked into the wall.

Sesshoumaru watched the miko stumble back towards her bathroom, running into the walls as she walked. Once she was out of sight, he sighed to himself and moved to the couch, his own steps wavering. My the miko could drink! While he was not nearly as intoxicated as she, the alcohol was still affecting him. He would not be leaving the miko's tonight.

He settled himself down on the couch and turned on the television. His eyes were closing when he heard the miko returning, but Sesshoumaru did not move from where he lay. Suddenly a warm body flung itself on top of him and he let out the breath of air that had been knocked out of him. Opening his eyes, he saw the miko laying atop him, a grin plastered across her face. "Tired, moon doggie?"

"And you are not, miko?"

"Not a bit," she said as she wiggled to make herself more comfortable.

She laid her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat, and closed her eyes. "So what are we watching?" she asked as she yawned.

"There is nothing on."

"There never is."

She wiggled once more, lodging her legs in between his. Her hands were resting against his chest and one of her fingers was making circles against the fabric of his shirt. "Miko, should you not seek your bed?"

"Nope! You're comfortable. A little hard, but comfortable."

No one had ever called him comfortable before, but he did not indulge in activities such as this either. Perhaps he _was_ comfortable to lay upon? "Besides," the miko continued, bringing him out of his thoughts. "This is my prize."

"Prize, miko? This Sesshoumaru was under the impression that I was the victor in tonight's games."

She opened her eyes and looked up at him, the silly grin still on her face. "I have a devious mind," she admitted to him.

"I would not say devious."

"Ah, but then, _you_ are not the one laying on top of a gorgeous man, are you?"

His eyes narrowed as he contemplated the satisfaction he would feel in pushing the miko off of him, but she just felt so right where she was. And she had called him gorgeous. "Nor would I wish to be."

She laughed at his words and laid her head back down. Her eyes closed when she felt his hand placing itself on the small of her back. "You would if you were me," she mumbled as her mind shut down and she drifted off to sleep.

Fin.


	17. Slobber is Best Served in White

a/n: Short but sweet and dedicated to SugarOo and Teensie-sama. Here's what you wanted, girls. Sort of. ;-)

**Slobber is Best Served in White**

She knew she should have been suspicious. She knew and yet she didn't think it through. And now here she was....trapped and soaking wet.

It had all started out innocently enough. Sesshoumaru had called her and asked her to join him on an outing. This being a regular occurrence, Kagome hadn't thought much of it when she'd agreed. When Sesshoumaru had suggested that, perhaps, she bring her dogs along, she should have known something was up, but was too pleased that he was finally seeing her "collection" as the part of her family that it was.

He'd told her, vaguely, what they were going to do and Kagome had eagerly packed them both a light picnic lunch and been ready at the exact time Sesshoumaru showed up at her door. He drove, insisting that it was okay that her dogs be allowed in his car, and they made their way for the open countryside.

Shortly after arriving there, on lands Sesshoumaru owned, they had a nice lunch while her dogs ran around playing with themselves and their surroundings. Then he'd asked her to wait a moment and disappeared. Kagome had thought nothing of it until a very large Sesshoumaru in true form came bounding over a hillside, bearing down on her at full speed.

Of course she'd screamed.

And her puppies had run for their lives.

When she'd gotten over the shock of what was happening, Kagome had attempted to berate the dog form of Sesshoumaru for scaring her and her dogs like that and _that_ was how she found herself in her current predicament.

Knocked flat on her back by one swipe of his tongue, pinned by a paw as large as car, and dripping wet with dog saliva.

"Let me up, Sesshoumaru!" she demanded up to the almost mountain sized dog youkai above her.

Sesshoumaru's answer was a huffing sound that was something akin to a laugh and she received yet another long lick of his slightly rough tongue. _Kami, I will never complain about Kouga's or Inuyasha's licks ever again. _"Oh gross, Sesshoumaru!" Kagome cried out as she wiped dog slobber away from the side her face. _At least he doesn't have dog breath, _she thought with relief. "I like kisses as much as the next girl, but this is a bit much."

All of the sudden, his youki washed over her, reminding her of days long past, and Sesshoumaru was stretched above her, a smirk on his face. "Then perhaps you would like this instead," he said as he lowered his mouth to hers.

The miko had nothing to say.

_Fin._


	18. Reflections of a Miko

a/n: This one-shot contains sexual innuendo of a _very_ mild sort. It was written for rOo's GM challenge on Dokuga. I just couldn't resist.

* * *

**Reflections of a Miko**

It had been an evening of heated touches and even hotter looks. Sesshoumaru wined and dined her in true fashion; giving into her whims and likes, going out of his way to please her.

They'd been out on several official "dates" since "that day", as Kagome liked to think of it— especially right then— but she'd never felt so special as she did now.

And _now_ they were in his home, a first for her. He had insisted they return here for the end of their evening, but now that they were there, standing in his bedroom _of all places_, Kagome was feeling a little more than nervous....maybe. Thinking maybe some wine would help ease her, she'd asked for some between breath stealing kisses. Sesshoumaru had given her a smug look before gracefully giving in to her request with one last kiss.

Then he left her alone.

In his bedroom.

Where there was _his bed_.

Turning her eyes away from the massive piece of furniture, she looked around her. It had been all meetings of lips and distracting touches leading up to this room and she hadn't really had a chance to see his home. She'd always wondered where Sesshoumaru lived, what it looked like. He'd been alive for more than a thousand years now. What did the home of one who had lived that long, seen as much as he had, look like?

The answer?

Sesshoumaru enjoyed elementariness.

While everything was obviously of the highest quality, it was simply done. Elegant just as the daiyoukai was. The furniture in his bedroom was sparse but of a dark wood that went well with the deep blue of the walls. Two doors so well designed she could barely make them out on the far wall led to probably what was the master bath and the master closet. The invisible doors framed a large fireplace glowing with embers that offered just the right amount of lighting and atmosphere. There were full sized windows looking out over an amazing view of Tokyo. Rich, deep carpet covered the floor and the walls held only a few paintings, obviously as old as he was. _They should be in a museum,_ she thought vaguely as her mind turned her body back towards the bed without her permission.

Taking a deep breath, Kagome smoothed her hands over the 'little black dress' she'd bought especially for this evening and took a hesitant step towards the bed. It was not that she wasn't ready for this move in their relationship. _Oh never that_, Kagome told herself almost giddily as she took another step forward, coming within one more of actually touching it. It was.....for lack of a better word....the anticipation and wonder that was killing her.

_What would it be like?!_

Reaching out with her hand, not realizing she had the largest smile on her face, she ran her fingers over the plush coverings. It was the biggest bed she'd ever seen; probably custom made for the daiyoukai's tall frame. Kagome wondered if he ever slept in his true form as she sidled up closer and placed both hands on the bed. Then she wondered what it would be like to sleep _with Sesshoumaru_ when he was like that, all big and fluffy and soft, as her hands pushed down, testing the firmness of the mattress.

It was just right. As she knew it would be.

Deciding to meet her anticipation head on, Kagome closed her eyes and jumped onto the bed, her body bouncing lightly before settling down in its center. Running her fingers over the almost too soft comforter, she sighed to herself as all her anxiety seemed to melt away.

Then she opened her eyes.

And was greeted with her own reflection.

Kagome ran through a mental check list. Cheeks flushed with desire? Yes. Legs slightly parted? Yes. The skirt of her little black dress hiked up to reveal even more of her long, lean legs? Yes. Her loose hair splayed out around her face? Yes.

That was most definitely her gracing the ceiling above the daiyoukai's bed. "What a dirty dog....," she said aloud, entranced by her appearance.

She didn't hear Sesshoumaru come back into the room. Hadn't a clue as to how long he'd been there, but apparently he'd been there long enough. Hearing his footfalls, she raised her head, knowing her cheeks were flaming red, and looked at him.

Dressed still in the black pants and crisp white shirt he'd worn for the evening, he'd taken off his jacket while fetching the wine. The collar of his shirt was loosened, exposing some of the pale muscled skin of his chest, and he'd rolled the sleeves part way up, revealing the magenta stripes on his wrists and well toned arms. Sauntering towards the bed in what Kagome could only think of as being in a very feral manner, he stopped a few feet away. In his clawed hands were two glasses of the white wine she favored.

As Sesshoumaru looked her over, laying on his bed, his golden eyes darkened and his pupils lengthened as if he were sighting her the way he would prey. Which Kagome was feeling like at that moment in time. "Dirty, am I?" he said seductively, his deep baritone curling across the distance that separated them.

Kagome pushed herself up onto her elbows, her eyes glancing back up at her reflection to once again check that it really was _her _up there. Yes, it was. Double check complete.

Sesshoumaru's lips curled into a smirk overflowing with conceited satisfaction when he noticed where her gaze strayed to for a brief second. "Perhaps then, miko," he continued to intone as he took another step towards her, fangs peeking through his smile. "You should punish this Sesshoumaru for his _dirty_ mind?"

_Fin._


	19. Picking Up a Daiyoukai

_Warning: mild sexual innuendo_

**Picking Up a Daiyoukai**

Kagome was sitting in a dimly lit bar sipping her drink and waiting for Sesshoumaru. It was not their usual meeting place, but it was quiet and out of the way and perfect for today. The bar was also conveniently located in between her home and where Sesshoumaru's business meeting was at. She'd left early, wanting to be sitting at the bar waiting for him when he walked in, and was now getting anxious for the daiyoukai's arrival. It wasn't like Sesshoumaru to be late, she thought as she glanced at her watch again And, technically if she wanted to be completely honest with herself, he wasn't late, but she was eager to see him as she was in a teasing mood today and no one was better to tease than Sesshoumaru.

Amusing herself by using the straw of her drink to chase the cherry around in her glass, Kagome stared into the dark liquid of her amaretto sour and grinned to herself. Then a shadow fell over her, blocking the one dull light bulb that was barely illuminating her spot. Raising her eyes and turning slightly on the swivel barstool, Kagome looked into Sesshoumaru's face and smiled. "Come here often?" she asked, lending a semi-seductive tone to her voice and batting her eyes ridiculously.

"Your pick-up lines are atrocious, miko," Sesshoumaru replied as he slid onto the bar stool next to hers.

The bartender noticed his new patron and took Sesshoumaru's order. Once the daiyoukai had received his drink and the bartender had moved away again, Kagome leaned towards him, looking him over. "Do I know you from somewhere? Because I don't recognize you with your clothes on."

That earned her a raised eyebrow. "Miko, how long have you been here waiting for this Sesshoumaru?"

Kagome giggled and gave a dainty shrug of her shoulders. "I'm not drunk. I'm just intoxicated by you."

That pick-up line didn't even warrant an expression change and Kagome growled to herself. She was going to have to do better than that to get a rise out of her daiyoukai. Thinking quickly on her…err…butt, as she was sitting down, Kagome swiveled her body more into his direction, uncrossing and crossing her legs again and adjusting the hem of the short skirt as she did. While she moved, Kagome never took her eyes off of the daiyoukai in front of her and therefore caught his quick glance down towards her legs. After making a show of sucking on the straw of her drink, she leaned forward towards him once more. "If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left Christmas, I'd love to meet you between the holidays."

Instead of getting a reaction to her naughty line, she received a question in return. "What is Thanksgiving and why would this Sesshoumaru's leg be it?"

She stared at him for a moment, trying to see if he'd caught onto her game and was teasing her back, but he looked entirely serious. _Damn._ "It's an American holiday," she said with a wave of her hand in dismissal for that line. Scooting near to the edge of her barstool, she rubbed one of her feet against his leg. "Let's go back to my place and play lion and lion tamer. I'll open my mouth and you can feed me some meat."

Now that one did earn her a reaction. His mouth fell open slightly and, for the barest of milliseconds, there was a look of shock in his eyes. "Miko, are you sure you are not intoxicated?"

Trying to hold back her laughter, her body shaking from the effort, Kagome moved in for the kill. She leaned forward even more, trapping the daiyoukai with her gaze. When she spoke next, she kept her voice low and soft and enunciated each word "If you were a squirrel, I'd let you bust a nut in my hole."

Sesshoumaru moved forward, his lips nearing her own and Kagome waited for the kiss she was dying for. Instead of kissing her though, he sniffed her. "You do not appear to be physically ill. Perhaps something is wrong with your mind?" A small smile gifted the daiyoukai's lips. "You appear to have forgotten that I am an inu."

This time she did groan aloud. "You are ruining my teasing, Sesshoumaru!"

"As this Sesshoumaru stated before, miko," Sesshoumaru replied, looking entirely too smug, "Your pick-up lines are atrocious."

"They're suppose to be!" she answered with an exasperated laugh as she finished her drink and pushed the now empty glass aside. "That is the point of them."

"This one thought the point of pick-up lines was to get into the pants of another. My, how misguided I have been."

"You are hopeless!"

"No," he corrected her as he, too, finished his drink and left money on the bar to pay for both of theirs. "Just more experienced than you."

"Oh really?"

The look he shot her was entirely Sesshoumaru, condescending and arrogant. "This Sesshoumaru has lived for over a thousand years, miko. I have heard them all."

"You are so conceited."

Sesshoumaru stood, his eyes glancing around the bar behind them. "Miko, this Sesshoumaru will return in a moment and then this one's face will be leaving." A wicked light came to his golden eyes. He turned his body towards her and leaned forward until his lips were only inches away from her ear. "And your face had better be on it."

Kagome waited until Sesshoumaru was half way across the bar, going towards the restroom, before she replied. "And you said mine were bad…"

_Fin._

_a/n: Thank you, thank you, thank you for all who voted for SCTD in the 2009 1__st__ Quarter Dokuga Awards. I am proud, and surprised, to say this series won first place in comedy! And thanks to Dany for the use of that last pick-up line. Truly masterful, my girl!_


	20. A New Enemy

**A New Enemy**

Sesshoumaru had a new enemy now. It had been centuries since he'd found an opponent as aggravating as this one, and the sad fact of the matter was, there was nothing he could do to thwart its devious plans.

The miko would not let him kill it.

Growling lowly at the object of his ire, itching to douse it with his caustic poison as he'd never wanted more so anything else, Sesshoumaru turned away from the "enemy" and it's sickeningly shiny black surface. He turned to face the miko once more, said "owner" of this new enemy. Why was he not surprised that something he found exasperating came from her? She was a wellspring of annoyances and was currently paying him no mind, a habit she had when she found some action or thought of his pointless. Busy stirring whatever new creation she had cooking over the stove, the miko continued to seem oblivious to his growing ire.

While the smells of whatever delight she was working on were sinfully drool worthy, he could not forget the _thing_ at his back and he would not just let the problem with it lie. It needed to be addressed now before it made more a nuisance in his life than it already had. "Miko," he began.

The miko glanced up at him, smiling. Her aura radiated innocence, but Sesshoumaru knew that to be deceptive. He was coming to learn that the miko was far more clever than he had ever given her credit for in the past. _Except in this_, he amended silently to himself. "Yes, Sesshoumaru?"

Steeling himself for whatever reaction the miko would give, the woman's moods changed like the winds, Sesshoumaru continued. "Have you always been so?"

A look of confusion crossed her face. "Have I always been…how?"

He had always believed that the best way to be was straightforward, blunt; giving an asked question only the minimal amount of words necessary with no pretty painting. The miko understood his reasoning behind this and accepted it as part of his, what she called, charm. And so, Sesshoumaru answered her question in that fashion. "Idiotic in your decision making."

She dared to laugh.

"Miko, this is not a laughing matter," Sesshoumaru rebuked.

The miko gave a casual shrug of her delicate shoulders, pushing aside his berating as if it meant nothing—which, in this matter, it probably did to her. "And I say it is. Why does it bother you so much, Sesshoumaru?"

"It is preposterous," he answered. The _object_ had him so irritated he could think of no other words to describe what he thought of this current situation. How in the world the miko lived day to day with such a thing guiding her, as he had learned earlier that day, he would never be able to understand. She should have walked in front of traffic, fallen off a bridge, or some other dire outcome following the _thing's_ advice. And how _he _had never realized the thing was there before was most disconcerting…

And the miko most definitely should not be laughing about it!

He watched as the miko put the lid on whatever she was cooking to let it simmer. Rounding the corner, she practically waltzed, a mocking cadence to her step, over to the table where the thing sat.

The miko picked up the new enemy in his life, caressing it in her hands as if it held all the secrets in the world. Giving him a sidelong glance, the miko placed her hands on top and bottom of the object, cradling it almost lovingly in her grasp. "Tell me, Magic Eight Ball" she said, a wide smile on her face. "Is Sesshoumaru jealous of you?"

_Fin._


	21. The Perfect Gift

**The "Perfect" Gift**

Kagome believed she had the right to be a little pissed off at the daiyoukai. While he may think she was being unreasonable, she highly disagreed. Sesshoumaru had, after all, _melted_ her magic eight ball in, what she called, a jealous fit. Had that truly been necessary? The eight ball had merely advised her to not go to dinner with him that evening, after all. And she would have disregarded its advice with a laugh if Sesshoumaru hadn't played so perfectly into her hand with his gullibility.

Damn it, she missed her toy. It had been a birthday gift from Souta and had kept her highly amused for quite some time. Contrary to what the daiyoukai believed, she did not trust it with her every day decisions. She just made him think that to tease him. Kagome hadn't known he would believe her so thoroughly, though, and take such extreme matters to "end her dependency", as he'd said.

Working out her aggressions towards the dog by pulling the weeds out of her flower bed, Kagome did not realized Sesshoumaru had landed in the grass behind her until she felt the flare of his youki brush across her senses. Turning around, fully prepared to give him a piece of her mind as she had worked herself up into a 'mad as hell' state again, Kagome stopped when she saw him. Actually, what he held in his hands stopped her…even though he looked quite delicious himself. _Kami,_ she thought to herself. _It's only been a week since I last saw him and I'm this screwed up over the sight of him?_

Standing up, brushing the dirt of her hands, Kagome eyed the package in Sesshoumaru's claws. It was a box, daintily wrapped in beautiful pearly white paper and tied with a velvet red bow. His colors, of course. "What is that?"

The daiyoukai looked down at the gift in his hands and then back to her. He seemed slow to act, slow to answer and that only intrigued her all the more. "Is that for me?"

Sesshoumaru barely nodded his head yes.

"Is this…an apology?"

This time Sesshoumaru remained still, looking slightly less than uncomfortable now, and Kagome knew she was right.

Squealing with glee, she took the box from his hands, admiring his choice of wrapping paper. "Did you wrap this yourself?" she asked, noticing how perfect it seemed. Not even the stores seemed to do this good of a job.

"The assistance of the company employees was less than adequate," Sesshoumaru explained, his voice stiff. "I accept nothing but perfection."

Kagome smiled. "Well, you accept me and I'm not perfect."

Sesshoumaru's eyebrow rose. "This Sesshoumaru," he said meaningfully, "Accepts _nothing_ but perfection."

Knowing she was blushing now, Kagome turned her eyes down towards the present once more. "May I open it now?"

"If you so desire."

Normally one to rip into a present, tearing the paper to shreds on the way, Kagome took her time now to savor the opening of her apology gift from Sesshoumaru. He had never been one to gift her lavishly—not that she desired or needed that—and she wanted to remember every moment of this time for later giggling over tonight. Evidently, though, Sesshoumaru was uncharacteristically impatient with her as he took the gift from her hands and ripped the paper off for her with a quick swipe of his claws. "Hey! No opening my gift for me, moon doggie."

"This Sesshoumaru merely sought to aid you, as you seem to be having trouble tearing open the paper."

"I was trying to savor the moment," Kagome grumbled as she tore her present back out of his hands and lifted the lid on the box.

Peering inside, Kagome was not surprised to find her gift, whatever it was, shrouded in red tissue paper. Feeling almost like she was digging into a bloody body and wondering where in the hell that thought had come from, she stuck her hand in, past the paper, until she reached her gift. As her fingers closed around the globe like object, Kagome's eyes lit up. "Did you get me a new one?!" she yelled out as she pulled the gift out of the box.

He did. It was a new magic eight ball and not one of the ones she'd seen on the shelves in the grocery stores or staring out at her from the toy store windows. This was a "fancy" magic eight ball. "Wow," Kagome said as she looked over the eight ball's glossy finished.

It had been custom made; specially ordered just for her apparently because Kagome had never seen a white magic eight ball with red lettering. And it was heavier, too. Definitely not made of plastic. "What is this made of?" she asked as she tested the weight in her hand.

"The casing is layered with pearl."

"Pearl?" Kagome echoed with disbelief.

"Ask your new _magic_ eight ball," Sesshoumaru ordered, his voice sounding faintly sarcastic when he said the word magic, "A question, miko."

All too happy to oblige because she'd been missing her fun, Kagome set the box aside and took her customary position with her new eight ball. Briefly wondering if Sesshoumaru had ever played pool, she laid one hand on top while holding the ball in the other. Kagome closed her eyes, concentrating and ignoring the humorous waves pulsing off of the daiyoukai. "Magic Eight Ball," she began. "Should I forgive Sesshoumaru?"

Taking her sweet time, Kagome flipped her new eight ball over and peered into the screen on the bottom. The answer floated to the top a few seconds later. "This one says yes," she read aloud. _This one?_

Her curiosity roused, Kagome flipped the ball over and then back again without asking a question. The little answer box inside once more floated up to the window. 'Hn', it read. Kagome jiggled the eight ball around again. 'Ask a Youkai', it read next. Eagerly, she flipped it again. 'Indeed' was the next one.

Kagome looked up at the daiyoukai, who wore a smug expression. "You changed the sayings on them, didn't you?"

"Indeed," Sesshoumaru replied. "If you are to seek guidance from such a thing, miko, this one will be ensured that the advice is as close to perfection as is possible."

Rolling her eyes, Kagome flipped the eight ball over again and looked down at the screen. The answer floated up to the top once more. "And 'kill it' is your idea of good advice?"

"Hn."

_Fin._

a/n: Cookie to whoever gets the funny ha-ha about the "perfect" in the title! And yes, _two updates in two days_... I'm sure the muses will drought me now for a while as punishment for overworking them.


	22. Help from a Daiyoukai

**Help from a Daiyoukai**

Kagome had a problem. Thankfully there was someone in her life, a daiyoukai of the inu persuasion to be exact, who could help her. Now all she had to do was convince him. Unfortunately, said daiyoukai was being rather imperceptive over the whole matter and did not seem to find it necessary to intervene. "Sesshoumaru, you have to help me with this!" she finally begged.

Sesshoumaru looked down at the very frustrated miko before him and then took a quick sidelong glance at the two dogs sitting nearby. "And how _exactly_ do you expect this Sesshoumaru to lend his aid, miko?"

The miko gave an exasperated sigh, as if he were being obtuse—which he most definitely was not—and told him exactly what he needed to do. "I need you to talk to him! Tell him to stop!"

Kagome watched as Sesshoumaru did that one eyebrow raising thing he did when he found something either distasteful or interesting or a myriad of other things. Truly it should have its own entry into the dictionary, it meant so many things. "You wish for this Sesshoumaru to speak with the mongrel?"

"Yes!" Kagome answered, throwing her hands up into the air. "I can't stand it any more and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. Please?."

Her voice had taken an edge of pleading and her eyes were trying to milk him for all he was worth. Steeling himself, Sesshoumaru regarded again the two dogs sitting placidly nearby. "And what, miko, is so uncomfortable?"

Kagome's eyes widened, surprise masking her face. She couldn't believe Sesshoumaru didn't understand what she found so awkward about this. "He mounts me!" she practically yelled then, pointing towards the dogs. The octave of her voice climbed higher and higher as she continued to speak and she knew she was probably hurting his sensitive hearing, but she just didn't care any more. She _had_ to get this stopped.. "Or tries to… Any time I'm down on my hands and knees. And then, and then _Inuyasha_ tries to mount _him_ while _he's_ trying to mount _me_!"

Her entire speech was accompanied by wild, pointing hand gestures which made her look rather comical and Sesshoumaru bit back a smile. He'd been learning recently the joys of 'harmless teasing', as the miko called it. It was fun. Plain and simple. "Perhaps you should refrain from getting on your hands and knees then, miko."

Kagome narrowed her eyes in his direction. He was not taking this matter as seriously as he should. It was time to up the stakes a little. Smiling her most evil smile, Kagome agreed with his suggestion. "Very well then, moon doggie. You are absolutely correct. That _is _the perfect solution for this. I'll never get on my hands and knees again. Ever. Anywhere. For any reason," she added for good measure, placing her hands on her hips.

Now he faced a true conundrum: the choice between physical and mental pleasure. He knew the miko would stick to that resolution until he did something about the matter at hand and, quite frankly, he liked her on her hands and knees on some occasions. Of course, he also supremely enjoyed this provoking of her, too. Sesshoumaru sighed to himself as he weighed his options. In the end, though, physical pleasure seemed to come out first. "Very well then, miko. This Sesshoumaru shall aid you."

Relief coursed through her when she _finally _received Sesshoumaru's decision to help. She watched as he walked over to where the dogs were sitting, anticipating some macho growling and yapping perhaps. Kouga and Inuyasha stared up at him with something akin to absolute adoration shining in their eyes and waited patiently for him to speak. Sesshoumaru stared down at them for a long moment before raising one finger and pointing at her. Then, after another meaningful pause, he said, "My bitch."

When nothing else seemed to be forthcoming, Kagome's mouth hung open in astonishment. She couldn't even take offense to the bitch comment. "What? That…that's it? That's all you have to say?!"

"I have told them to whom you belong, miko. They will respect that. Now you may resume getting on to your hands and knees for this Sesshoumaru."

"Oh really?" she replied, her voice laced with disbelief and just a little anger. "They're just going listen to you? Just like that?"

"Yes."

"I don't think so," Kagome countered, dropping to the ground onto her hands and knees to prove him wrong. She began crawling across the floor, as if searching for something under the furniture. Sure enough, Kouga immediately moved in for the mount with Inuyasha trailing most happily behind him. When she saw the dogs coming, Kagome quickly rose back to standing, glaring at the daiyoukai who watched on with a stoic façade. "See!?"

Sesshoumaru had been enjoying watching her move across the floor. There was just something so perfect about the view…and he'd been most displeased when she stood once more. Truthfully, Sesshoumaru could understand the Kouga dog's motives. It was a very appetizing opening. As for the dog named after his brother, he couldn't fathom that reasoning, but the mutt was named after someone Sesshoumaru had always considered to be a little off. "Very well, miko," he said in his most placating tone. "This Sesshoumaru shall move to more drastic means then. You must be marked."

Her glare vanished as confusion wrinkled her brow. "Marked?" she echoed uncertainly.

"Yes. You must be marked," Sesshoumaru confirmed, keeping his voice entirely serious. "Come here, miko. This Sesshoumaru needs to urinate upon you."

_Fin._

a/n: Thank you for your patience in waiting for an update. Muses…can't threaten them, can't persuade them. --LC


	23. Turning the Tables

**Turning the Tables**

"You are not peeing on me!" Kagome screamed before turning and running away.

She didn't get very far; her home was comfortable but small and Sesshoumaru was a youkai, possessing speed far beyond her own. Her traitorous dogs ran behind them, yapping and barking as if this was all in good fun. _So much for the loyalty of a dog,_ Kagome wailed to herself as Sesshoumaru's arms wrapped around her and pulled her close. _Here's their momma, about to be peed on, and all they can do is play around!_

Sesshoumaru leaned down, sniffing at her neck and giving it a long, slow lick. "What is wrong, miko? Are you not tired of others trying to claim what belongs to this Sesshoumaru?"

"But I don't want to be a fire hydrant! Red looks horrible on me!" she wailed.

"It is not exactly my urine that would mark you, miko," Sesshoumaru explained, pressing his lips lightly along her neck where his tongue had just traced. "As you know, I am an inu youkai and _inus_ have a gland that secretes a special enzyme. It's located--."

"Stop right there! I don't want to know where any glands are or what they secrete or…or...or anything else that has to do with peeing on me!"

At her back, Sesshoumaru pulled her closer and she felt the curve of his lips against her skin. White hot anger rushed through her veins when she realized just how _easily _she'd fallen into his trap and Kagome berated herself for being so foolish. And had she ever! _Well, _she thought to herself, _two can play at this game._ She'd been meaning to talk him into something for some time now any how.

Taking a deep breath, calming and redirecting her anger in a way that Sesshoumaru would have been proud of—if it wasn't going to be aimed at him, Kagome relaxed into his hold. It wasn't like she could make him let her go or anything. He could bench press ten of her with one arm tied behind his back! "You are absolutely correct, Sesshoumaru."

She felt him still behind her. "Yes, this one usually is," he finally agreed, a trace of disbelief in his tone that Kagome was sure she only heard because of her prolonged contact with the daiyoukai.

"I _am _tired of being mistaken for being a free woman." Kagome turned in his arms, facing him. Keeping her face as serious as his, she continued. "And I know I've entered into a relationship with someone of an entirely different culture…species even. And with such a relation, there will be differences in cultures and traditions. Much of yours, I am stilling learning about. Therefore, Sesshoumaru, I insist that you mark me."

"Miko," Sesshoumaru began, but Kagome cut him off by dropping to her knees before him, throwing her arms wide. She wished to provide a large enough target, of course.

In surprise or shock, she wasn't sure which, Sesshoumaru took a few steps back from her. Kagome smiled up at him, daring him to continue this little charade of his or to just give in to her already. "Hit me with your best shot, moon doggie. I am all yours!"

Sesshoumaru stared down at her with that sideways puppy look he often wore when she was doing something he considered insane. And she couldn't be sure, but she swore he was…blushing? "Miko," he began again.

"No, Sesshoumaru," Kagome interrupted, making her voice as passionate as she could. "I believe strongly that two individuals in a committed relationship will want to embrace the cultural differences of each other. So, we can do this _your_ way," she said, as she glanced towards his groin suggestively and gave her breasts a little jiggle as she did. "Or we can do this _my_ way."

She shouldn't have wiggled her breasts, apparently, because now her boobs had Sesshoumaru's full attention. "Your way?" he repeated absentmindedly.

Kagome sighed to herself. Men were men, it seemed, no matter the species. Oh well. She'd use this newest development for an already strange day to her advantage. "Yes, the human way a male announces that a female is no longer available."

When it seemed like he'd rather stare at her chest than answer her, Kagome gave another wiggle to promote a response out of him. Above her, Sesshoumaru cleared his throat in a telling move. It being unusual for him to give something away like that away, Kagome paid careful attention to what he was about to say. Surely it was going to be something important. Maybe it would even be a little romantic to make up for threatening to pee on her…

"This Sesshoumaru is not familiar with human courtships."

_What? _Kagome could not believe what he was saying. Had he been living under a rock for the last five-hundred years? Or just simply not bothered to pay attention because he'd never believed he'd find a human to socialize with? Or were her breasts _really _that much of a distraction? If she'd known what power they held, she would have wiggled them five hundred years ago! Catching Naraku would have been a snap…

Speaking of snaps, Kagome brought her mind back on the present situation. Apparently Sesshoumaru's mind was not the only one wandering today, but oh well. Whatever the reason for his lack of concentration, it was all the better for her. Especially now. "The human way is simple enough, I promise," Kagome coaxed, taking a deep breath to make her breasts rise and fall noticeably. "No death or dismemberment involved."

"This one has always enjoyed death and dismemberment," Sesshoumaru answered, his eyes still glued to her boobs. "But if this is human ritual is truly important to you, miko, then I agree to participate."

Kagome smile widened victoriously as soon as she gained Sesshoumaru's agreement. There was no way he'd go back on his word once given. He was too honorable for that and she was just devious enough to use that to gain something she wanted. Within reason, of course.

Popping back up onto her feet, Kagome headed towards her phone. "Excellent. I'll tell my mother to expect us for dinner this Friday."

_Finished._

_a/n: I gain inspiration from everywhere and, when possible, I like to give credit where credit is due. Therefore, I must give a shout out to Wolfye Productions for her asking me about Sesshoumaru and his anal gland. :) Thank you!_


	24. An Argument over Beef

**An Argument over Beef**

"They are not dead."

"They are."

"My cows aren't dead, Sesshoumaru!"

Sesshoumaru glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, his face completely immobile. "They are, indeed, dead, miko," he rebutted an instant later.

Kagome huffed to herself, mentally crossing her arms across her chest and yet physically withholding from the action because he would call her on it. "I beg to disagree, Sesshoumaru. My cows are not dead. I saw no tombs."

"Yet there was a sign, miko. And you cannot have a sign announcing one if there is not a graveyard."

"I didn't even see this sign you claim to have driven past. I was busy trying to help YOU count YOUR cows since you are the one driving."

"This one doesn't need your help. And your retort is illogical."

"Illogical? My argument makes perfect sense! There's a chance the sign won't be seen by everyone in the car, so it can't possibly count. Am I suppose to just roll over and take your word for it that we passed one? And you have to admit, it's kind of hard to miss a bunch of tombs right along the roadside."

"While the idea of you rolling over has merit, miko, this one would not cheat at something so important," he replied, his voice laced with sarcasm. "Counting cows is a very serious business."

"But your cows don't mean anything to you! They're only numbers in your eyes! While I love my cows…"

Now that remark did earn her a full head turn, both of his eyes staring intently into her face for a long moment as he measured her sanity at the moment. Kagome merely pasted a huge grin on her face and giggled. Shaking his head and keeping his thoughts to himself, Sesshoumaru once more looked back to the roadway. "All 173 of your cows are dead. This argument is futile to continue. Begin counting anew."

Kagome sighed to herself, leaning back in the passenger seat of Sesshoumaru's car as they cruised down the road. This was supposed to be a simple child's game she had concocted to pass the time for their trip. Each person counted the cows they saw outside the windows on their side of the car. When a cemetery was passed, whosever side it was on lost all of their cows and had to begin counting anew. At the end of the trip, whoever had the highest number of cows won. Plain and simple! She and Souta had played this game many times during their childhood. "You are merely arguing this because I have 173--"

"Had."

"HAVE a 173 and you only have forty-two. You are simply jealous that I have more cows than you."

His eyes narrowed slightly and his lips pressed tightly together. They continued on, silence falling between them, when Sesshoumaru suddenly spoke again. "This one now has forty-five cows, miko. And yours are still dead."

Kagome popped her head up, looking out Sesshoumaru's side of the car. They weren't in an area cows were normally seen in. Her own eyes narrowed as she finally spied the two Sesshoumaru were claiming. "Plastic cows don't count. You still have forty-three, moon doggie."

"You did not mention that the cows had to be living, miko. I have forty-five."

"Forty-three."

"If you accept the death of your beasts, miko, I shall not count the plastic ones."

"Well," Kagome replied, giving in and folding her arms across her chest. She saw Sesshoumaru's smirk, but ignored it. A sly smile spread across her face then as she thought of the perfect revenge. "It seems like we've reached an impasse, Sesshoumaru. The only logical step then would be to seek outside council to settle this. When we get to the Shrine, I'm sure Jiji will be more than happy to help."

Sesshoumaru knew she was setting him up for something, but couldn't pinpoint exactly what he was getting himself into. Having no other recourse, because her argument _this time_ was indeed logical, he nodded his head in concurrence. "Agreed."

_Finish._

a/n: Ah, it feels good to be inspired for this series once more! And the inspiration for this piece actually comes from a RL argument. So I'm curious…if you do choose to leave a review and would like to help us "settle" this (Ha! Ha!), whose side would you choose: the sign being a point of cow death or seeing the actually cemetery as a reason for cow death? Of course, this is optional. And, btw, the plastic cow claim was actually mine, not his. I changed it for creative reasoning (not to twist the truth, roomy says I must add, and he asks that you choose logically, not based upon writer-appeasement—whatever, I say). LC


	25. Victory is Mine, Not Yours!

**Victory is Mine—Not Yours!**

Kagome would NOT let Sesshoumaru get the best of her in this. WOULD NOT!

They had arrived at her family's shrine earlier that day and then she had been shocked into silence as her stoic daiyoukai became a demon of charm, actually managing to get Jiji to apologize for trying to plaster a sutra across his forehead. He had then proceeded to sweep her mother off her feet—not that that was something hard to do—before "innocently" inquiring after certain rules related to a childhood game she and her brother had played. Both her mother and Jiji had fallen into his timely and well thought-out plan, each choosing a different side on the matter. Kagome was more than taken back when her grandfather, who had always given Inuyasha a hard time because he was HALF youkai, sided with Sesshoumaru on the matter.

Betrayed… Yes, that's how she felt.

Dinner that evening was…entertaining…to put it lightly as she watched a master at work. When the meal was over, Kagome's mother informed her that Souta would be there tomorrow, coming home to see the sister he hadn't seen since he'd gone to university. "We'll let Souta be the deciding factor," she added in, giving her father a playful glare.

Kagome glanced at Sesshoumaru, seeing the confidence of victory there, and just wanted to wipe his face clean.

So, after she'd helped her mother clean up from dinner, she tracked Sesshoumaru and her grandfather down. Jiji was showing him the relics the shrine watched over and excitedly telling the daiyoukai the histories involved with each of them. Kagome could not tell whether Sesshoumaru actually cared or if he were merely humoring her grandfather for her sake. "Sorry, jiji, but I have to steal your playmate for a bit," she said as she entered.

"But, Kagome! We were just getting to—"

"Another time, perhaps?" she interrupted with a patient smile, wrapping her arms around Sesshoumaru's. "We're going to be here for the weekend, Jiji."

They had escaped shortly thereafter, Sesshoumaru not offering any comment on whether he was grateful or not to be rescued from listening to her grandfather.

Kagome drove them to a nearby bar she had frequented once quite often after coming of age and realizing she was stuck in her own time. It was only a little hole in the wall, but she liked the atmosphere…and their pool tables.

When Sesshoumaru saw where she was taking him, he smiled confidently, scaring some of the other regulars in the bar who hastily moved away with their drinks. "Quit smiling, Sesshoumaru," Kagome said over her shoulder as she scouted out a pool cue for herself. "You're scaring the locals."

"If you are thinking to seek revenge for my obvious coop, miko, you have chosen poorly."

"Oh? You think so?"

"This one knows so."

"Then get a cue, moon doggie," she shot back while getting the balls and racking them.

"I am a master at strategy, miko," Sesshoumaru continued. "And this game is nothing but a form of such with a great deal of mathematics used for execution. I am also aware that mathematics is not a strong subject for you. "

Kagome wished she'd never admitted that him. He'd never let her forget the torture that subject was for her when she was in school. "Since you are so confident, Sesshoumaru, you would not be above making a wager then."

He chuckled, the sound coming off as vaguely evil. It had been a while since Kagome had seen him in such form. "And what are you interested in losing, miko?" he inquired while finally choosing his stick.

"If I win…and please feel free to demean me before the slaughter, Sesshoumaru-_sama_…you will stop what you are doing and just admit the defeat in the game of cow counting. The victory will be mine entirely and you will stop manipulating my mother and grandfather so that I may have an enjoyable weekend with my family and the man I want to share them with."

"And if I win, miko?"

Kagome was more than confident in her plan—even in the face of such devilishness. "I'll give you whatever you want, Sesshoumaru."

"Bold words, miko," the daiyoukai announced as he stepped up to the pool table to break. "Your wager is accepted. Do try to not regret your actions later."

Kagome stepped away, smirking to herself as he broke.

He sank a solid, leaving her stripes, and then Kagome proceeded to put her plan into motion. Once upon a time, long, long ago, she'd been a bit of a pool shark and, while she hadn't played in years, she still remembered the basics and was better than your average player still. But, even though this was true, she did not dare to think she would be better than Sesshoumaru. After all, as the daiyoukai had more than confidently pointed out, he was a master strategist. However, Kagome was willing to bet there were situations he'd never encountered before in his warfare…and that is what she was counting on.

Of course, it did help that he _was _patronizing her, trying to draw out the length of her defeat—as she knew he would. The first part of being a good pool shark was sizing up one's opponents, after all. And while she'd never actually seen Sesshoumaru play pool before, she had a fairly good idea of how he would do and how he would play the game.

By the end, they were both vying for the eight ball and it was Sesshoumaru's turn. The black ball of death was perched just on the edge of the corner pocket, lending a danger that he might scratch if he used too much force sinking it. This, of course, would mean her victory. "Don't scratch," Kagome warned as she moved over to where the eight ball was pocketed.

"Hn," Sesshoumaru answered as he leaned over to aim. "This one would never do so. Be prepared to give me what I desire, miko. Eight ball, corner pocket."

Kagome smiled to herself, biding her time. Truly it was a pity she would never learn what Sesshoumaru wanted to demand of her. For, just as he was about to strike the cue ball with the tip of his stick, she leaned over. Resting her elbows conveniently on either side of the pocket, she dipped forward and exposed a generous amount of her cleavage to his vantage point. It was just short of a flash, to be honest, and the daiyoukai's eyes widened notably. She'd shifted at just the right moment, though, and he couldn't stop the forward motion of his hand in time. The white cue ball darted forward, struck too hard to stop in time, and sank both the eight ball and itself.

Kagome righted her stance, smiling. "I warned you."

The daiyoukai looked pissed—which only made her smile more. "Miko," he said after a moment as a light of appreciation came to his eyes. "That was underhanded."

_Finish._

a/n: Girls, this trick DOES work. :) And they can't argue that it was unfair as his attention should have been on what he was doing, not what he was seeing. It's all about will power! lol_  
_


	26. Substitutions

**Substitutions**

"I am the champion!" the miko sang loudly—and off-key—as she shut the door in her nemesis's face with undisguised relish. With a bold flourish, she crossed the space in between the door and the bed and pounced.

As soon as she landed, the miko's body straddled his. Her hands encased themselves around his wrists and "held" them above his head. She settled her meager body weight down as if that would stop him from escaping and her legs quickly became entangled with his. Sesshoumaru allowed her the belief that he was contained—even though he could reverse their situation in a heartbeat—because he was interested in seeing where the miko might take this.

She grinned down at him from her lording position and tossed the loose ends of her hair over her shoulder as she shot the door to her bedroom another look of victory. "No room for doggies, cuz I am the champion…of the house!"

All evening the dog named after his half-brother had been following them and…interfering. They'd decided to spend the night in after being surrounded by the miko's family for the entire weekend and, for some reason, Inuyasha had taken it upon himself to "protect" him from his mistress. Any time the miko had come within an unacceptable radius the pup had boldly pounced forward and barked until she backed off. "You have bested a simple-minded mutt, miko," Sesshoumaru commented dryly from underneath her. "Congratulations."

The smile on her face, more than likely due to the glasses of wine she'd had this evening, widened at his words. "For being named after your brother, Inuyasha has developed a strange desire to protect you."

"I _am_ alpha."

She had the audacity to roll her eyes at his proclamation and then quickly became distracted by the exposed expanse of his chest. She leaned in, sniffing at him lightly as if she, too, were inu and grinned again. Her little pink human tongue darted out, licking across one of his nipples, and Sesshoumaru grit his teeth together as pleasure raced through him. "Yum. Dessert," she whispered seductively.

There were many, many things Sesshoumaru had come to enjoy about the miko—once he'd given himself time to get use to her odd and off-the-wall quirks—but the exuberance she put into all she did had to be his most treasured delight. She reminded him what living was all about and, to a being that had lived as long as he, it was a good thing to remember.

The miko suddenly straightened, mischievousness pouring off of her in rolling waves. He felt his muscles tighten with anticipation—but whether that was a good thing or not Sesshoumaru could not decide. Sometimes the miko was positively malicious. "I'm hungry, Sesshoumaru-sama," she purred and he instantly leaned towards the expectancy being a bad thing as she'd addressed him formally—which she usually abhorred doing. The miko was much more in favor of using that ridiculous 'moon doggie' nickname.

"There is food," Sesshoumaru reminded her as he prepared to defend himself from the coming attack.

The miko giggled playfully and leaned forward once more, rubbing her cheek across his pectorals. "I'm hungry for more than just food. I want you….and I want bacon."

"Bacon?" he could not help but reiterate. Kagome's cravings were sometimes even stranger than her habits. "I am afraid our leftover meal lacks your desired food, miko."

She nodded her head against him as her mouth moved slowly across his chest leaving behind butterfly light kisses and caresses. "I know. So this one," she purred again, mocking his pattern of speech as she was so fond of doing, "Shall just pretend that your nipples are my bacon."

Her dull human teeth latched on to him with a hard bite and Sesshoumaru instantly decided it might not be such a bad thing to be lacking her desired food.

_Finish._

a/n: I had a dream once that I was standing in line at an amusement park and I turned around to see Brad Pitt standing behind me. He was shirtless and his nipples were made of bacon. Been dying to use it in a fic ever since…lol. Oh! And I in no way, shape, or form own anything having to do with Queen's _We are the Champions_ (and yes, that's the song Kagome was trying to parody…badly, I might add).


	27. Remembrances of Mothers

**Remembrances of Mothers...  
**

"I love my mother," the miko suddenly said out loud, her tone one of fondness but yet tinged with a sadness as well.

Sesshoumaru glanced at her, wondering what had put Kagome into such a state now. There had been nothing that had passed between them this evening that would make her so. They had been sitting in quiet contemplation—a rarity for her—outside her home for the better part of an hour as the full moon soared overhead. As if she read his mind, Kagome turned to him and smiled. "I've been working on my new book and I'm at a point where my mother gave me some very good advice."

"Mothers do offer that."

Kagome turned away from him and bit her lip. She hardly ever moved into the territory of asking Sesshoumaru about the past. What they had now was now and, perhaps, it was also because she wouldn't like to know the answers and would rather keep her own dreams alive. But this was a golden opportunity to learn something she had been wondering about for quite some time. "So…your mother did as well?"

Sesshoumaru glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and resisted smirking at her too obvious inquiry. Frankly, he was surprised it had taken her _this _long to broach the subject. "She has and does…on rare occasions."

"Does?"

The curiosity pouring out of her was so thick it was palpable. "My mother still lives, miko. She is daiyoukai."

Her eyes widened at his statement and then she leaned forward, as if whispering of secrets. "What is your mother like?"

Sesshoumaru turned his contemplation back towards the moon and thought on her question for a time. What was his mother like? Hn. Perhaps it was best to not let the miko learn too much too fast… "Your own mother reminds me of mine," he said at last, but added silently, 'O_nly less malicious and calculating'._

"I'm sure she is lovely."

"We have been said to have some…resemblance," he halting revealed, hating what would obviously come to Kagome's mind.

Her eyes suddenly sparkled with pleasure and laughter as she looked him over and Sesshoumaru knew—he just _knew—_that the miko was imagining him dressed in a female's garb. "Stop," he ordered instantly.

Her imitation of wide-eyed innocence was so perfectly done it was almost amazing. "But I'm not doing anything!" she protested flawlessly. Unfortunately for her, the maniacal giggling fest she indulged in afterwards ruined whatever act she was trying to sustain.

Once her laughter had passed, Kagome exhaled with relief, her mood obviously lightened now. She turned her gaze back towards the sky and sighed happily. "I'd like to meet her one day."

"Hn."

Thankfully the phone rang and Kagome rose to answer it. Once she was gone, Sesshoumaru raised his eyes back towards the clouds passing overhead. They flashed a devilish red in warning and he whispered, "Do not even think about it."

_Finish._

a/n: I know this one was of more of a serious note (is that even the word to use?!), but I really wanted to use portions of it (written separately on drabbling nights) like crazy and this ficlet happened to work best for them. I dedicate this one to all mothers out there—whether they be Ms. Higurashi's or Unnamed Fluffs. Happy Mother's Day to all those wonderful beings of mystical magnitudes! May you continue to inspire, advise, and push us on to greatness…

post a/n: Btw, this is no way implies his momma will make an appearance down the road...


	28. Bishies, Bishies…Everywhere

DISCLAIMER: This author owns nothing to do with and makes no money from Bleach, Vampire Knight, Trigun, Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion, OHSHC, or Final Fantasy VII. They each belong to their respective owners.

a/n: This one is written a little different from the others. There's a scene setting (prologue, if you will) in the beginning and then there are separate follow-up scenes that take place at varying times afterward. I know I may not be explaining it well, but you'll get the idea. Enjoy!

*WARNING!*

_The following entry may contain some spoilers of the above mentioned animes._

**Bishies, Bishies…Everywhere**

The miko had a new desktop on her computer…and it was irritating to say the least.

Left alone in her living room with the cursed piece of machinery while Kagome showered and changed for their evening out, Sesshoumaru could not help but study the multitude of _male _faces that graced the screen. He also noticed immediately that there was not a single female among the spread.

Hearing her exiting the shower and dressing, Sesshoumaru waited patiently for her to enter the room. When she did, he immediately opened up a line of conversation to address the problem at hand. "Miko, your fascinations are ridiculous and troubling."

Kagome noticed quickly what had garnered his attention and huffed softly. "As is your desire to remark upon them, Sesshoumaru. Don't tell me you're getting jealous?"

"Anime is for children," he continued without comment on her correct assessment.

Kagome snorted and gave her back to him as she dug into her purse for something. "It is not ALL entirely for children, Sesshoumaru."

"If you are referring to the hentai—"

"Don't even go there, moon doggie! I'm saying some of them have the most detailed plots outlines and require deep thought and contemplation to understand the entire scope of the story being told."

Sesshoumaru smirked at her defense. As if the miko felt it, she turned to face him once more. "There is nothing wrong with me watching anime, Sesshoumaru!" she continued to argue. "You have your warmongering, blood and guts movies and I like anime."

"Yet this one does not feel inclined to cover my desktop with images from those films. And my enjoyment of said entertainment is based upon historical fact—which your anime contains none of."

"You ARE jealous!" Kagome declared with another laugh and then paused. "Wait. That's just stupid. They aren't real, Sesshoumaru."

"While this one is glad you realize that, miko, it does not change that fact that you have idolized these _men._"

"Really. I'm not so shallow as to be drawn in by looks alone," Kagome shot back, wanting to goad him. Honestly, this was positively outrageous. How could she not play? "And none of them are about to hop out of the television and sweep me off my feet…like you do."

Sesshoumaru growled inaudibly because he knew he was being absurd and the miko had just clearly pointed that out—in her own twisted way.

"I'll tell you what, Sesshoumaru. Agree to watch some anime with me—one new show a week starting tonight when we get back from dinner—and I'll remove my new desktop that bothers you so. You don't even have to watch all of one. Just some will do."

Sesshoumaru contemplated this. How bad could it be? While he truly did not wish to indulge in this habit of the miko's, it was preferable to her staring at other men where only he should be. "Fine, miko. But you will remove this desktop immediately."

BB

They returned from their meal and the miko promptly pushed him down onto the couch and walked over to a finely crafted cabinet that Sesshoumaru had always thought was just for decoration. She opened its double doors to reveal a humongous collection of anime DVDs that he had never known existed. When did the miko have the time to amass such a collection? And _how_ had he not known of it? "What horror shall you torture this one with first?" Sesshoumaru asked dryly to cover his surprise.

She tossed him a look over her shoulder that would have made him smile had he not been serious about the horror. He was well over a thousand-years old and was beyond the age of watching cartoons—by any species' specifications—if he were asked. But, knowing her as he did, he knew Kagome would not let this rest.

"We'll start out with something that's very popular right now," Kagome replied, choosing to ignore his tone and comment as best as she could. "It's very popular in both manga and anime and while the anime is not my absolutely favorite of the two—there are too many filler arcs that detract from the awesome storyline—I'm sure you can make do."

_Make do? She would give me second best? _"Hn."

Kagome rolled her eyes and withdrew a set of DVDs. Opening the case, she fished one out and placed it almost reverently into her player and then sat down beside him. "Welcome to Bleach, Sesshoumaru," she said with a smile as the theme song began to play and she rocked her head along with the beat. She really liked this song.

Several hours later Kagome was finally able to point out one of her favorite Bleach characters to the daiyoukai. "That is Tōshirō Hitsugaya. He's one of my silver-haired bishies," she added with a shiver of excitement. Honestly she could have pointed him out sooner—even though she was sure Sesshoumaru recognized him from her desktop—but she wanted him to see more than just a fleeting image of him and Hitsugaya didn't really come into play until much later in the anime.

Sesshoumaru watched the screen for a moment and then cut her a sideways look without saying anything. "What?" Kagome asked, her hackles rising.

"This one never knew you were into shotacon, miko."

"Shotacon?!" Kagome exclaimed, slightly ticked. She most definitely was not into that! "Hitsugaya may _look _like a kid, but he's not. Haven't you been following the background story in the anime?"

"No matter what explanations are given, miko, he still appears to have the image of a child." Sesshoumaru studied the screen a moment more. "This one—if any of them—should hold your sway more."

"You would like Byakuya Kuchiki," Kagome grumbled, still a little put out that he would disregard such important elements in the plotline for a pointless jab at one of her favorite characters.

"Though his choice of accessories could be considered questionable…"

"If you are referring to his kenseikan," Kagome replied, feeling the need to defend, "They are a sign of his nobility."

"Hn."

"Kind of like mokomoko," she added for further measure.

BB

A week later Sesshoumaru found himself once more forced down onto the couch in her living room. This time he was crowded by her menagerie of animals, as well.

Kagome effortlessly ignored his scowls directed at her pets as she ran her finger over the shelves of anime she owned. "Tonight we shall watch this one," she said with relish. "It's not like Bleach—"

"No little boy toys?"

She gave a growl at his interruption and continued as if he had not said anything. "But the story line is much more in-depth and intricate."

Sesshoumaru resigned himself to watching whatever cruelty she had chosen—as he had agreed to this—and settled back on the couch. He watched as the miko turned on the television and lowered the lights for "atmosphere". The show began and it looked to be…promising.

Two hours later Sesshoumaru found himself fighting for control of the remote. Finally getting it into his grasp, he stopped the DVD. "No."

"What?" Kagome asked, not understanding his suddenly dire need to stop the episode.

Sesshoumaru would not answer that question. The answer was just no. "No. You will pick something new, miko."

"But Vampire Knight is one of my absolute favorites! And Zero is one of my silver-haired loves…though I really like Kaname, too. Yuuki should just get both of them. Rawr. Or Aidou! She could hook up with that one, too. Double rawr. And who cares that Kaname is her brother…Kami! If _my _brother was that freaking hot, I'd jump him in a heartbeat!!"

Sesshoumaru's face deadpanned hers. He would _never _remark upon this conversation _ever _again—though he was sure it would enter his mind the next time he looked upon the miko and her brother in the same room together. "Miko, are you listening to yourself?"

Kagome internally reviewed what she'd just said and gave a weak laugh as she stood to change out the DVD. "Incest is best? Put your brother to the test?"

BB

_Okay, maybe I made a miscalculation when it came to watching Vampire Knight with Sesshoumaru_, Kagome admitted to herself. It was, after all, more of a 'girl anime' and romantic in a way no guy would EVER understand. But tonight, tonight she could not go wrong! This one she'd stolen from Souta a while back—so she _knew _it was favored by males as well as females—and ended up keeping even though she well could have bought her own copy. It wasn't _her _fault that her younger brother couldn't keep up with his things.

Sesshoumaru arrived at the appointed hour looking properly dour—much to Kagome's amusement—and seated himself in his usual spot. Kagome laid out the refreshments she'd made to ease him into the anime and popped it in without giving any kind of back story as she had been doing.

Several hours later Sesshoumaru was still staring at the screen, seemingly engrossed by the anime, and Kagome was doing fist pumps in her head. Then the current episode ended and she glanced over at him to find his head down-turned with his hand over his eyes in a routine she was quickly coming to know well. What in the hell was wrong with this one?! "What now?" she asked, wanting to know and yet _not_ wanting to know what his thoughts were about Trigun.

Though he preferred the fighting style in the Bleach anime more, this one had held great promise. The storyline was interesting and the characters colorful. Another plus—in his mind—was that the miko appeared to only ogle two of the males. However…

"He is a plant."

"Well, yes. Didn't the show just reveal that about him? What's wrong with that?"

Sesshoumaru paused for a moment, seemingly surprised by her quick agreement. "He is a plant, miko," he repeated, as if she truly hadn't grasped that concept yet. "You have been lusting after a plant."

"But he's a fine ass, sexy plant, Sesshoumaru! I love his eyes…," Kagome quickly replied and for some reason the daiyoukai merely stared at her in return.

BB

"You'll like tonight's selection!" the miko proudly proclaimed as she opened the door to her home.

_This one hasn't even entered her domicile yet and already I am besieged_, Sesshoumaru groaned internally. Honestly he hadn't thought she would sink her teeth so deeply into this. If he had, he might just have swallowed his jealousy and never mentioned a damn word. "Are the main characters at least somewhat human?"

"Yes."

"Are there children you shall be drooling after?"

Kagome shot him a glare. He would never let go of that, would he? "No," she growled back.

"Is there action?"

"Yes. And battle and blood and guts and intrigue. You'll really like this one. It's called Code Geass. Souta swears by it and you liked Trigun…for a while."

"Very well, miko," Sesshoumaru replied with the voice of the resigned. "But first allow this one to prepare with sake."

Several hours later Sesshoumaru found himself as engrossed in this anime as he had been in the previous. Truly her younger brother Souta had remarkable taste in children's' shows. The action was excellent and the storyline involved. There was strategy, honor, battle—everything he embraced.

If only the miko would hold her tongue…

"Ah, Lloyd Asplund…," she said with a dreamy sigh at his side as the spoken of character strolled onto the screen.

"This one would think you would favor the main character more, miko," Sesshoumaru observed, wishing to stop her from expounding upon this Lloyd. Besides, the main character had personality traits similar to his own and he had found it strangely reassuring that most of the fake males she drooled after held something in common with himself. The fact that she was not lusting after this one irked him for some reason.

"Oh, I love Lelouch, but I'm afraid Ayame has dibbs on him."

"Dibbs?"

"She watched this first and then told me about it."

Hn. Perhaps this Ayame warranted further investigation? If he learned that it was she who turned the miko onto anime…

BB

The miko had declared that tonight he was just going to have choke back his dislike of "cutsie" things and watch the anime she had chosen. Truthfully, Sesshoumaru wasn't sure if he would be able to last, but he did manage to find one character that appealed to him and made the show... tolerable …to watch. "That one reminds me of someone," he finally said. For the past hour the miko had been growing more and more restless at his side and he feared she might try to jump down his throat in search of a comment.

"Kyoya Ootori is someone you would favor. He's secretive, intelligent, and doesn't do anything unless there's something in it for him. Well, most of the time. The Host Club wouldn't be around without him and you two _do _have much in common."

Sesshoumaru ignored her comparison of him to yet another one of her anime boys. She seemed to find someone in each anime and he'd come to expect it now. "And which of these idiot beings is the one _you _favor, miko?"

"Oh, the Hitachiin twins without a doubt."

"Both of them?"

"Well, you can't have one without the other and can you imagine being the meat in that sandwich?"

BB

It had been a grueling month for him. More than likely one of the hardest periods of time he'd been through in a VERY long while…and he wasn't sure how much more he could take. The miko was talking about showing him something else this evening. She swore the main antagonist, a character she called Sephiroth, would be very much to his liking.

But if she oohed and ahhed over one more poorly drawn fake figure of a male he would…

Standing, Sesshoumaru faced the cabinet. He cringed internally as he opened the double doors wide and his eyes slid over the collection of anime there. His hand itched to render the entire thing into nothing more than a pile a of goo while the miko was distracted.

But would it be worth it?

Perhaps…

Or perhaps he should take the easier route—and the one likely less painful to his hearing—by just letting the miko have her 'bishie' filled desktop back. Then he could be released from this contract and forget he had ever seen anything at all.

_Finish._

Post a/n: For those who do not know… and this is taken directly from Wikipedia (so if you want to argue, go there!)

Bishie/ bishōnen: The term describes an aesthetic that can be found in disparate areas in Asia: a young man whose beauty (and sexual appeal) transcends the boundary of gender or sexual orientation. Some non-Japanese, especially American, anime and manga fans use the term to refer to any handsome male character regardless of age, or any homosexual character. In the original Japanese, however, bishōnen applies only to boys under 18. For those older, the word bidanshi, literally "handsome man" is used. In the place of _bishōnen_, some fans prefer to use the slightly more sexually neutral _bishie_ (also spelled as _bishi_) or _bijin_, but these terms remain less common.


	29. Bedeviling a Daiyoukai

**Bedeviling a Daiyoukai**

Kagome had made a game of it. She loved seeing how much Sesshoumaru could take before he broke and either destroyed what she was toying with or questioned her on the nature of the thing she was doing.

Maybe she was sick in the head, but to her this was fun.

_Beep._ *pause* _Beep._

From under her lashes she watched as the tick Sesshoumaru usually developed right before reacting began to surface. Rather fondly, she cupped the electronic game she was playing in her hands and continued to play—hoping against hope that he wasn't in a breaking mood today.

_Beep._ *pause* _Beep_.

From across the kitchen table, Sesshoumaru sighed audibly and rustled the paper in his hands. Secretly, Kagome smiled to herself and counted mentally. _One, two, three—_

"Miko," came Sesshoumaru's stern sounding voice.

She lifted her head, feigning innocence most perfectly if she were asked. "Yes, Sesshoumaru?"

"What are you doing?"

"Playing," she replied, loving being vague and annoying.

The tick in his cheek twitched. Twice. "Playing what?"

At that moment in time Kagome pushed the roll button on her game and glanced down to see the numbers that the game produced. Just as she did that the tune she loved to hear played and then the score board rolled into action. "Yahtzee!" she cried out, finally beating her high score after several months of trying.

_Finish._

a/n: I have a secret obsessive love when it comes to playing Yahtzee (high score 538 at this moment in time) and I'm sure it drives both my roommate and my kids insane, but hell. I gotta play.


	30. The Continued Suffrage of a Daiyoukai

**The Continued Suffrage of a Daiyoukai**

Sesshoumaru found himself truly content.

He was laying in his own bed with only those odors that he wished prevailing the air he breathed. At his side, wrapped safely within the confines of his arms, was the miko, her light and even breathing telling him that soon she would pass into sleep. His day had been satisfying and his night very…entertaining.

But, of course, he knew it couldn't last.

At his side, the miko stirred slightly and then mumbled, "It's a conspiracy, Sesshoumaru."

Internally Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes, but he also looked forward to whatever nonsense would spout out of the miko's mouth this time around. One of the reasons he found her presence so necessary was her unpredictability. He could never quite grasp onto her pattern of thought. Knowing the miko would continue speaking whether he answered or not, Sesshoumaru grunted, burying his face into her hair and taking a deep breath. "Do you know the meaning of conspiracy, miko?"

"Of course I do," she replied, sounding as offended as someone on the verge of sleep could. Then she paused for a moment and muttered, "I think he hates me."

_He? A male dared to insult her?_ Then Sesshoumaru took a deep internal breath and remembered who, exactly, he was thinking about. Wherever the miko was concerned it was always best to clarify before getting up in arms. "Who hates you, miko?"

"My Yahtzee game," she answered with a yawn.

He could not stop the snort. Leave it to the miko to give an inanimate object thoughts, feelings, and a gender. "It is an electronic device, miko, and is therefore incapable of hating. Even of hating you."

She ignored his barb with skilled ease. "But he does. I know it."

"And how would you know this?" Sesshoumaru asked, though he _really _didn't want to. What he wanted was sleep. He found himself to be quite worn out, the miko having been exceptionally exuberant.

She rolled in his arms to face him, turning her head up to look at him. Her hands she placed upon his chest, one of her fingers drawing kanji symbols against his flesh. Sesshoumaru tried to focus upon what she was doodling upon him, but her foot sliding slowly up and down his leg was quite distracting. "It holds numbers I didn't tell it to," she replied very matter-of-factly. "And sometimes the screen goes blank. Recently he hasn't been giving me any yahtzees, either. Or I'll roll and he'll give me the same numbers every time. He hates me. I know it."

"Perhaps you play with it too much," he growled in return, hating the memory of the electronic game's tune that played in his mind as they spoke of it. Why couldn't she play her damn game in silent mode?

"Or not enough," the miko said as she leaned her head against him and listened to the sound of his beating heart.

"And what makes this a conspiracy? Are your other electronic games plotting against you?"

She laughed lightly and then yawned again, moving her body even closer to his with a contented sigh. "Oh don't be silly, Sesshoumaru."

"This one is not the one being…inane, miko. This one would suggest you replace the batteries."

"But then I'd lose my high score!"

This time Sesshoumaru _did _roll his eyes, though the miko had closed hers and missed it. "Then you will just have to let the game die…of its own natural causes," he added, clearly making fun of her torments.

Her hand moved down from his chest to wrap around his waist, her fingers splaying across his bare back. "Hm…I believe in you, Sesshoumaru."

Immediately the hairs on the back of his neck rose and warning alarms sounded in his brain. "As you should."

"Yes. Yes, I do. Therefore," she said, taking a moment to yawn and settle herself more fully against him, "I know you'll help me and use Tenseiga to revive my game so he won't hate me any more."

_Finish._

a/n: My Yahtzee game is dying…


	31. Endearments of a Daiyoukai

**Endearments of a Daiyoukai**

"You don't have any endearments for me, Sesshoumaru," the miko remarked as she lounged languidly against him. They were settled on her back porch, both of them seated in her singular lounge chair. While the chair had not been made to seat two people comfortably, Sesshoumaru could not help but think that there were never two souls more content in all of his life than they. Was he going soft?

He grunted at her comment, knowing even as he did that the miko would not like his answer. As if she read his mind, she turned her head to look at him, peering up at him through her bangs. Was it him or was there an amused smirk on her face? "What are you about, woman?"

Her blue eyes flashed and then were quickly hidden from his sight by the down turning of her head. "Oh nothing," she mused quietly, turning her gaze back towards the tranquil garden before her.

Sesshoumaru fought the need to growl. "Explain yourself fully, miko."

At that she laughed, the sound tickling across his ear drums like a musical harmony. What _was _it about this human female that drove him insane? "It's really nothing, Sesshoumaru," she answered when she was done laughing.

"Then explain it to this one so that _I _might see that it is nothing. I will not be mocked, miko."

"And I would never mock you," she swore automatically. "At least never seriously."

At that Sesshoumaru glared down at the top of her head—not that she could see he was glaring at her. "Moon doggie," she interrupted his thoughts a moment later. "I love you."

To say that he was stunned by her admission would have not graced the emotion he felt with enough power. His lips locked together, refusing to reply, but his eyes watched avidly as her hand rose and ran down the length of his thigh. Laying between his spread legs as she was, the raking feeling of her finger tips running down his leg sent sensations coursing throughout his body. "You're never two-faced," she said after a time.

"Duplicity is a failing," he replied, finally finding the strength to answer her.

"And you DO have endearments for me," she continued, seeming to ignore him entirely. "In that respect, I was wrong."

At that Sesshoumaru arched his brow. Did he? He hadn't noticed… "And what would those be, miko?"

"Well, there's that one for starters," she answered with a laugh, her bare feet running up and down the length of his legs as much as they could while she spoke. The air was spiked with the scent of her pheromones.

_Did him calling her a miko turn her on? _Sesshoumaru thought to himself before grinning wickedly internally at the thought. "Woman," he said automatically and the giggling fit of the miko stopped him once more.

"And then there's that one," she replied once her giggles had receded. "You have _two_ endearments for me, Sesshoumaru. Miko and woman."

"You see them as endearments?" Sesshoumaru asked, clearly truly perplexed. From what he knew, human sweet nothings boiled down to basically calling the one you cared for sweetie or babe or darling—as if he'd _ever _use such course language around the one he felt endeared to…

"But of course!" she answered, laughing still. She turned onto her stomach, her arms coming to rest against the flat expanse of his abdomen, and grinned up at him like a delirious person. And it wasn't that he had truly ever thought her insane, she just represented the picture so well at present.

"You are making little sense this day, miko, but this one supposes he should be use to it by now."

Her grinned widened—which only confounded him more. "You are such the perfect man."

At that, the daiyoukai felt his spirit bolster. Of course he was perfect! "This one is," he conceded. "Now how do you know of this?"

"Because you give me exactly what I ask for," the miko replied. "And nothing more. Nothing less." She turned again, rotating her position so that her back was to him again. She settled between his spread thighs and sighed. "Thank you, moon doggie."

After a tense moment of silence, in which he reflected upon their relationship since their Fate filled meeting until that present moment in time, Sesshoumaru bowed his head. "You are most welcome, Kagome."


	32. Notable Espionage

**Notable Espionage**

"What are you looking at?" Sesshoumaru asked over his newspaper.

Kagome guiltily snapped her head up from the paper she'd been unfolding, reading, and folding up again over and over for the past half hour all while giggling insanely under her breath. "Nothing," she replied, her voice too sweet to be truth.

He lowered his paper, his eyes assessing her and his senses picking up all the little telling signs that the female before him was being untruthful. His curiosity was piqued now as Kagome rarely—if ever—kept anything from him—at least as far as he knew. "Hn. This one does not believe it is nothing."

"It really is," she replied, stuffing the well wrinkled paper into the back pocket of her jeans and standing. The miko moved around the table, walked into the kitchen, got out the bag of dog food, and began refilling the bowls.

_That _was only ANOTHER telling sign to Sesshoumaru. He doubted the miko was even aware of her habit of busying her hands with such mundane chores when she wanted to take focus away from something else. "It's a note Ayumi sent me," she vaguely explained as she picked up the various water bowls and rinsed and refilled those as well. "Something she found that my friends and I wrote a long ago."

Sesshoumaru had heard enough about Kagome's friends from her school days to know that he _never _wanted to meet the hormonally charged women they had surely become. However that did not stop him from wanting to know what had been sent to Kagome that caused her to laugh so and glance at him with that suspiciously evil twinkle in her eye. Obviously whatever she was reading brought _him _to mind. Therefore, Sesshoumaru felt that it was his right to know.

He stood, as well, and earned a clearly mistrustful look from the miko, who appropriately guessed his intentions. Kagome backed up against the wall in the kitchen, pressing her butt firmly against it to try and keep him from gaining access to her pocket. "If it is truly nothing," Sesshoumaru replied, a wicked glint in his eye, "Then you will not mind sharing with this one."

"It's personal, Sesshoumaru!" Kagome argued, fighting the smile that came to her lips as her mind instantly recalled whatever was written on the paper.

By the Kami, now he _had _to know what it said.

Utilizing his innate gifts, Sesshoumaru easily cornered the miko, who squealed like a little girl as he effortlessly picked her up with one hand and held her aloft. Twisting her just so allowed his other hand to quite easily broach the back pocket of her jeans and retrieve the well worn paper from its hiding spot despite the wild kicking of her legs. Still holding onto the miko, who was now squirming with real urgency and sputtering all manner of useless threats that would never _really _be followed through with, Sesshoumaru stared at the paper now being held in between two of his fingers.

It _looked _harmless enough.

He gave it a sniff and the miko made an exasperated sound. "Sesshoumaru, if you read that I'll turn your you-know-what into the ashes the next time it tries to get near me."

Sesshoumaru sent her a sidelong glance, his lips curling upwards. "My you-know-what," he replied, almost making a passable copy of her voice as he mocked her word choice, "Brings you too much pleasure for you to give him such a fate. And this paper clearly makes you think of this one. Therefore it is my right to see it."

"Now that's just a bunch of bull-"

"Language, miko," Sesshoumaru interrupted. "There are children about."

"What?"

At that moment the dogs came charging into the kitchen, barking as loud as they could as they attempted to rescue their mistress. Sesshoumaru set her back down on the ground and Kagome was immediately besieged by her jumping dogs—just as he'd planned it.

Moving with youkai speed, Sesshoumaru darted out into the living room while the miko tried to fight her way through wagging tails, lolling tongues, and pawing paws to get her precious note back. But then he had second thoughts, deciding against invading her privacy. If the miko truly wished him to not know what the scrap of paper from her past contained then he would respect her wishes and not look.

When the miko finally reached his side Sesshoumaru held the unmolested note out to her and watched as she snatched it from his fingers and quickly stuffed it back into her pocket. "This one has decided to respect your personal space," he said, by way of explanation for the sudden about turn of events.

"Good boy, moon doggie," she replied cheekily, giving him a pat on the head like he was a little child and laughing at his disgruntled look. "You can be taught."

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes—a look the miko might have respected a bit more and tried to make amends with if she hadn't already turned around and made her way back over to the table. _Oh. Yes_, he thought to himself as he watched the miko's delightfully appealing hind end move away from him. _This note will most definitely be read now… _

*SCTD*

It was actually quite easy to get a hold of the note again without the miko realizing it. All Sesshoumaru had to do was keep tabs on where she was stuffing it and then wait for her to fall asleep.

He almost wished she'd put up more of a challenge.

Slipping the note out from between the two books on her bedside table, Sesshoumaru exited the bedroom and moved into the living room. He opened it, noting how well worn and creased the paper was and found himself reading an obvious high school girl conversation, a note made by passing the piece of paper around when they really should have been focusing on something else. So what, from her high school days, reminded the miko of him? He knew full well that the miko had never revealed the truth of her time-traveling days to anyone other than family members.

"You need a new man," the first line read. The miko's handwriting, one he recognized as it hadn't changed that much, identified this writer as Ayumi by telling the girl to mind her own business. The next line Sesshoumaru didn't know who wrote, but whomever it was correctly guessed—in his own opinion—that his half-brother was not good enough for her. Another writer took up the third line; proposing a game of choosing the best man for Kagome that his miko vehemently (and also apparently fruitlessly) tried to stop with several capitalized NOs ending with several explanation points before the paper was obviously ripped away from her madly scrawling pen.

"Someone tall," came the line after that, obviously Ayumi again.

"Handsome! He HAS to be handsome!"

The name Hojo was scrawled girlishly after that with hearts drawn aplenty around it. At that point Kagome had apparently gotten the paper back as there was another largely written, fully capitalized NO again. A smiley face with its tongue sticking out followed her reply and then the writer had written, "Strong."

"Well endowed," came the next line and, even if he hadn't known her handwriting by now, Sesshoumaru would have guessed that this was Ayumi's work even if none of the other three girls hadn't gasped her name with little laughter icons beside their replies. "What?" was Ayumi's reply to their shock. "We can't have our girl suffering a lifetime of boredom in the bedroom, can we?"

_No, we cannot, _mentally agreed Sesshoumaru.

The note continued with other various girlish comments about what the perfect male entailed and then something caught his eye. "Dangerous," Ayumi had written. "I think Kagome likes a little danger with her men."

"I most definitely DO NOT!" his miko had replied, but there, drawn so small he almost didn't recognize it, was a crescent moon…

_Hn. Nothing at all, huh?_

Sesshoumaru carefully refolded the note up and placed it back where the miko had put it. Then he crawled into bed beside her, drawing her close to his side and burying his nose in her hair. He loved the way she smelled for some reason. The miko mumbled something unintelligible in her sleep before settling down once more, a smile on her face.

_Finish._


	33. Declaration of War

**Declaration of War**

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Sesshoumaru slowly blinked and the miko's damned cat slowly followed suit.

He narrowed his eyes in irritation.

The cat, sitting in a most lordly manner across from him on the table top, copied him perfectly.

"Aww! He's giving you 'I love you eyes'!" the miko gushed as she walked into the room. Then she came to a sudden stop as she spied the dead lizard sitting in front of him. "And Fluffy brought you a gift, too!" she chimed in a minute later.

"This one begs to differ, miko," Sesshoumaru replied, never losing eye contact with the cat.

"What do you mean?"

"This one hardly believes you understand the intricate language of animals."

The miko's lips lifted with a smile. "I don't need to know the particulars to know what they're saying," she explained, sitting down beside him and squinting her own eyes towards the cat in imitation. "I know that he's telling you he loves you."

Sesshoumaru gave an inelegant snort of disbelief. "He is not giving me 'I love you eyes'," he replied, the tone of his voice revealing how much he hated to repeat those words. "The cat is challenging this one."

"Now that's just ridiculous, Sesshoumaru."

"And this _gift_—as you call it—is nothing but a tactic of intimidation."

"Sesshoumaru, really—"

"Miko," he interrupted smoothly, "This one has dealt with…cats…before. He feels that I am unacceptable on the hunt and that therefore I need to be taught _how_ to hunt. So he has brought this unworthy carcass before me for that lesson."

"Then just indulge his whims and bat it around a little. He's just a cat, after all."

Sesshoumaru cut a look towards the miko for a moment to judge her mental state. Kagome looked as if she were completely serious and found nothing wrong with her statement—though the miko was quite crafty. However, in this situation, Sesshoumaru would bet anything that she just did not understand the entirety of the situation. Perhaps this was how humans had cohabitated with cats for all this time? "I will not."

"I really doubt there's anything nefarious in this, Sesshoumaru," Kagome said with a dramatic rolling of her eyes to show what her feelings on the situation were.

"You do not know the twisted minds of felines. Some of the most devious opponents this one has ever dealt with were of the feline persuasion."

"Fluffy is a housecat, Sesshoumaru!" Kagome reminded him, reaching out her hand to stroke lovingly down the beast's back and to scratch him pleasingly under his chin. "He's a not a youkai or anything like it."

The cat's eyes seem to gloat his victory and Sesshoumaru fought back a growl of derision.

"All youkai embody the spirits and true characteristics of their kind," he tried to explain.

"Oh really?" the miko replied as she continued to love on her cat. "Then why doesn't your tail wag every time you see me?"

Sesshoumaru straightened in his seat and sent the miko a glare—which she typically ignored. Oh the indignities! "This one doesn't _have _a tail—as well you know. And all I am trying to say is that not all is what it seems, miko."

At that moment in time the cat rose onto his four paws and padded over towards him. Sesshoumaru froze, his brain going through possible motions of attack, and he started when the cat proceeded to take the path he could not defend against.

It rubbed it's furry, smelly body against him.

_How dare you claim ownership! _Sesshoumaru thought, fighting against the need to release his youki. This would just not sit right, though, with the miko—who didn't understand what was going on—and an angry miko was not something he enjoyed dealing with.

Its purr of mockery grated loudly in his ears and Sesshoumaru swore he'd earned grace from the Kamis for putting up with this insult.

"See," the miko cooed as she reached out to rub against her beloved cat again, "He loves you, Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru sneezed in response.

_Finished._


	34. Animalistic Woes

a/n: There is a foul word here…. And this piece is dedicated to LordRandalsLady, a avid supporter of this fiction.

**Animalistic Woes**

"You need to get out of my goats."

The miko's odd comment, delivered as her eyes stayed trained on her laptop, sailed right over Sesshoumaru's head. _What in the hell is she talking about now?_ Sesshoumaru stayed silent, hoping the moment would pass. Unfortunately for him, it did not. "Do you like the goats more than me?" she asked a moment later.

"Miko, this one has no idea what you talking about."

"FrontierVille," she said offhandedly. "It's a game on Face Book."

Ah, Face Book. He refused to join the online community—just as he'd refused to join MySpace when it was in its heyday. Even though he wanted to know how the miko had involved him in this site, he did not ask. Sesshoumaru knew her well enough to know she'd spill the beans down the road…

"You're _my _husband," the miko continued a minute later, not lifting her eyes from the screen when she spoke, "And yet I always find you stuck in the goats."

Was it wrong of him to enjoy the fact that she'd made him her mate? "Perhaps this one prefers the goats?" Sesshoumaru replied before he fully thought his words through—a rarity for him but then his own mind was still on the thought of being her husband.

She glanced upwards then, glaring at him, before lowering her eyes back down to what she was doing. The miko was _suppose _to be working on her latest manuscript, nearing the end of her series, but _apparently _she was Face-booking instead. "What is this…game…that you speak of, miko?"

"It's a Zynga game," she answered in explanation, as if he'd know anything about online gaming. "You have a home on the frontier and you do chores and missions to level up. You can make your husband and a child, too."

_A pup? _"And do we have a child?" he asked, his interest pricked.

"Of course," the miko answered with a nonchalant wave of her hand. It was almost as if she were replying to a question about having a cup of sugar. "His name is Herkie."

_Herkie? _Sesshoumaru did an internal revolt at the non-typical name and wondered where in the hell she'd come up with such an abomination. Not asking and praying she wouldn't name her own pups in such a fashion, he shook his head silently. The miko, her senses heightened due to her being…her, looked up as he shook his head. Kagome's glare increased. "So you haven't told me why you prefer the goats…"

"This one is not aware of having a goat fetish. Perhaps if you explain?"

The miko sighed, obviously frustrated. "Fine. In this game you can create your mate and child and have them do chores when you pick them. Otherwise you tend to do everything yourself. Typical!" she added with a throw-up of her hands. "Anyway, normally the other characters you make tend to stay in the same place until you select them for a chore, but every once in a while they move on their own accord. And YOU have moved into my goats."

"I moved into your goats?"

"Yes! And the goats are tall, so I can't click on you to get you out of them." She growled then, narrowing her eyes as she focused on her laptop once more. "Even if I have to sell them…you are getting out of my goats!"

He watched as the miko made several exaggerated movements with her fingers across the scroll pad of her laptop. If she'd had her mouse hooked up, he was sure steam would have been rising. "Done!" she finally declared.

"You have freed this one from the goats?"

She nodded her head in the affirmative, looking quite satisfied with herself, and Sesshoumaru chuckled internally at her silliness. Then her eyes widened and she made another click. "Oh, they responded!"

Lost once more, Sesshoumaru tightened his lips and merely watched as emotions passed over his miko's face. Whatever she read by whoever responded, she giggled softly and his own heart rejoiced and she then sighed to herself. "I better check back in to make sure they haven't given me any new missions."

"It's a ploy," Sesshoumaru advised, catching on to the fact that she'd left this FrontierVille game site to do something else. Battle tactics of old had, after all, moved into advertising in this day and age. That was why he worked in such a field.

"But I NEED to know," the miko stressed, shooting him a look that told Sesshoumaru she'd already spent too much time on this.

He was willing to bide his time, though. After all, patience was a virtue…

"FUCK!" his miko suddenly uncharacteristically shouted.

It was his turn to offer a long suffering sigh. "What has happened now, Kagome?"

She looked so defeated, so used up. Sesshoumaru was ready to rend this game into pieces just to see her normally jovial self again. He withheld himself, though, because reacting to her now would only encourage the behavior—and it was a damn internet game which meant absolutely nothing in the real world. "You're in the sheep," she answered scathingly, shooting him a death glare.

Sesshoumaru considered the situation he'd been thrown into and the ridiculousness involved in it. He straightened, prepared to give his reply, and prayed to every deity he knew that the miko wouldn't want to risk damaging her laptop when he did. Then he cleared his throat, gaining her attention. He waited until she was focused on him and then sent her a cocky smile, raising the drink in his hand as he did. "Bleat for me, baby."

_Finish._


	35. Sensual Delights

a/n: This one shot contains sexual innuendo and a sexual situation. Apologies if I offend!

**Sensual Delights**

He was so turned on…

The miko had been extra attentive this evening. Wearing her most suggestive clothing and appealing to his taste buds with excellent foods, her continuous teasing touches had only served to further ignite the fires of lust within him.

Unable to resist her appeal any longer, Sesshoumaru swept her up into his arms. The sound of her laughter as she wrapped her arms around his neck and wiggled against him was sensually stunning.

Carrying Kagome back to the bedroom, Sesshoumaru growled softly as he kicked the door closed behind them, locking out her annoying pests. He nearly swelled with male pride as a shiver of excitement raced down the miko's body and the scent of her arousal increased.

Laying her down upon the bed, he covered her body with his own as he buried his nose between her neck and shoulder. "You smell…delightful," he purred as he lathed her sweet skin with nibbles and licks and touches from his lips.

The miko shuddered underneath him, her hands gripping onto his clothing in an effort to keep him where he was. Sesshoumaru almost chuckled. As if he'd leave this…

Content as he was to spend eternity in this position, it seemed to miko was not as she slowly maneuvered herself onto her hands and knees. _Naughty, naughty girl…_Sesshoumaru thought as he positioned himself appropriately behind her. She was more than ready despite their short amount of foreplay he knew.

Kagome wiggled her backside, brushing her perfect hind end up against him as she did. Looking over her shoulder, her lips curved into a mischievous smile as her heavy-lidded eyes looked him over. The miko licked her lips appreciatively as her eyes combed down his body and up again. Her mouth parted and Sesshoumaru focused on it, wondering what words would come from her to further inflame him.

"Baaa."

Sesshoumaru stopped, not sure if he had actually heard her correctly. Had the miko bleated at him? And in a suggestive way?

Feeling his…sword…crumble slightly from its once glorious stance, he eyed the miko questioningly. She did not fail him, brushing those glorious cheeks against his hardness once more. "Baaa."

"What do you think you're doing, Kagome?" Sesshoumaru asked, standing at a little less than half mast now. The miko had obviously not lost her edge when it came to killing youkai…

"I'm bleating for you, baby," she answered with another suggestive push against him with her butt.

Damn his mouth…

"Baaa," the miko said again, a playful giggle escaping now.

Sesshoumaru groaned, feeling himself harden once more. Kami, even this woman's cruel vengeance was a turn on! Truly there would never be—_could _never be—another like her. "You are so bad," he growled against her neck, letting her have her evil play as he pounced on top of her once more. "This one thinks it is time for you to have your shots, my little lamb."

_Finished._


	36. Not Spam

**Not Spam**

"I am not spam!" came the miko's angry retort as she stared down at her laptop.

Sesshoumaru _tried _to turn his gaze away before she caught him but was not fast enough for her female senses it seemed when Kagome deadpanned him. "Do you think I'm spam?"

"No," he wisely answered, not truly wishing to experience any more of her vengeance. The baa-ing had been enough, damn it…

The miko turned from him to scowl at her laptop once more. "Every time I send myself an email," she said, "My email account tells me it's spam."

"Have you checked your settings?" he helpfully suggested, though he had no idea why in the world someone would want to email _themselves_…

"Of course I have!" the miko answered. She paused, staring hard at her laptop for a moment, and then released a sigh that was so full of varying emotions even he, with his senses, had trouble sorting them out. "I think I'm using this as an excuse," the miko finally admitted after a long, turgid moment.

"An excuse?" Sesshoumaru echoed, though he didn't need to and had no idea why he did. Perhaps all the time spent with the miko was finally affecting him...

Kagome seemed to ignore his words—which was fine with him as they were redundantly said—and continued on with her thought process. "I've always had trouble letting go and this is my last chapter."

"Of a tale already completed," Sesshoumaru supplied, wishing to push her beyond this despondency she had put upon herself.

The miko's eyes darkened with sadness and then lightened with understanding. A sly smile spread across her face—one he was most welcome to see and yet not. "So you wouldn't mind my writing about our_ present_ relationship?" she asked.

There had been a malicious twinkle in her eye when she'd spoken those damning words and Sesshoumaru could not help but notice it with a secret shudder. _And those fools thought Naraku had been evil… _Instantly the fanfic stories and plots clouded his mind and, internally, Sesshoumaru rebelled. Externally however, he merely shrugged. "It matters not to this Sesshoumaru," he supplied in a lordly manner.

Despite his words, Sesshoumaru secretly craved the privacy himself and the miko had previously shared and he dreaded what would come from a continuation of their story. Fanfiction authors were so ruthless… They even gave _him _a run for the money, as the Western saying went.

But what would be would be…and he would always be there to sort truth from fiction. He would also always be there to keep the power-hungry miko from thinking she was here for some other reason than to pleasure him…

And that thought gave him a grin worthy of an evil tyrant.

_Finish._


	37. Sesshoumaru Comes to Dinner Again

**Sesshoumaru Comes to Dinner…Again**

"They love my kitty!" the miko exclaimed as she looked over various online forum accounts and book review sites.

Normally such behavior would have been avoided and unacceptable at the dinner table—they having both agreed that such times were for them and no one else—but Sesshoumaru could not take away her joy with such childish reminders. Instead he merely inclined his head in congratulations and continued to dine upon his meal. He wasn't even sure if the miko knew he'd even acknowledged her words, her eyes trained upon the screen of the laptop that sat but a sparse distance from her where reviews of her latest short story were scrolling across at a mad rate.

But the joy upon the miko's face made up for it all…

Sesshoumaru sighed to himself as he remembered the months following the release of her last book about their "feudal fairy tale adventure" and the various interviews his miko had been forced to endure. Such callous questions had been asked of her—though Sesshoumaru knew all those now thought the tale a fantasy of the mind and not the reality it had been. And then had come to true torture…when the miko had been working on the continuation.

He had often taken refuge from her with her animals—and found himself forming a tighter bond with them as the miko seemed to thrust all their care upon himself. But, when she finally emerged from her study, the miko had smiled at him as if he were the only male in the world…

"They think naming Fluffy after you was a perfect idea," the miko continued, not even noticing the moment of reflection he'd gone through.

Sesshoumaru cast a glance in the direction of said feline. He was always aware of where _that _certain beast lay. The look upon the cat's face, the victory shown in the beast's eyes, was enough to cause Sesshoumaru to scowl with dislike. He made a mental note to scour the online sites later this evening and correct this grievous error.

He would _never _be like a cat.

Never.

Yet his eyes caught how the miko's fingers ran through the fur of the feline when the cat—sensing a prime invitation for loving—came over to her side. Jealousy filled him at the mere sight and Sesshoumaru found himself removing the cat from the equation. Despite the fact that he had prime rib going cold on his plate, Sesshoumaru lowered himself down and thrust his head where once the feline's body had resided and released a deep-chested thrum of contentment. The miko seemed not the notice the difference—much—as her fingers continued their grooming.

"You know," the miko said a minute later while her fingers still stroked through his hair, "Others have named their pets after you."

Sesshoumaru almost sat upright, but the feeling of her fingers running through his hair held him still. Instead of moving he gave a noncommittal hn, wrapped his arms around his miko's body, and closed his eyes as he focused on her. "It says here," the miko continued, "That someone named their hamster after you."

_What?_

_Finish._


	38. Tangled Tresses

_A/N: My very good friend (even though we've never met in person—and thank you, woman, for putting up with my insane phone calls) LordRandalsLady recently celebrated her special day. And I, being the wonderful person I am (lol!) wrote this piece for her (though I had a much more graphic version in mind before I remembered SCTD is rated T). She's an avid lover of this collection of shots and has been responsible for a great many of its recent updates. So this one is dedicated to her… A VERY belated Happy Birthday! I love you!_

WARNING: a slightly choreographed sexual situation…

**Tangled Tresses**

"Maybe if I turn…and then you—"

"Miko, no. Do not," Sesshoumaru tried to argue but he was cut off as Kagome did as she planned.

A pained whimper sounded out and Kagome wasn't exactly sure from whom it had come, so tangled were the two of them.

The evening had begun so well. It was her birthday and Sesshoumaru had taken her out; wined and dined her as only he could. They'd retreated to his home—not wanting to deal with the jealous tendencies of her pets where her time with Sesshoumaru was concerned—and he'd surprised her by allowing her to take control in the bedroom.

Kagome had relished being astride the daiyoukai, a creature such as he at her mercy. The silken cords she'd used to tie his hands above his head and to blind his eyes were nothing to Sesshoumaru. He could have rendered them into naught within seconds. The fact that he did not, that he merely fisted his hands as she teased him, only empowered her more.

As she'd had a strange longing to do, Kagome had brought whipped cream and chocolate into their love play. Covering his already delicious body with the sweet tasting stuff, she'd lapped and purred like a kitten with fresh cream as she swiped his body clean with her tongue. The strawberries Sesshoumaru had procured for their wine became decadent treats, which she fed him while he writhed underneath her touch. The flashes of his fangs, a secret delight of hers, had only urged Kagome on until Sesshoumaru hadn't been able to take it anymore.

He rounded on her, the cords holding him in place seeming to disappear in an instant. Bright blood red eyes, driven to that point by her teasing touches, stared down at her as Sesshoumaru panted from above. Kagome smiled, licking her lips in a teasing fashion. Unable to stop herself, her mind most definitely in the gutter and her mood being on the teasing side, Kagome opened her mouth and whined pleadingly like her puppies had once done for an extra treat.

The daiyoukai, startled by the turn of events, had paused momentarily before growling long and low. The vibrations had rushed through him and into her and Kagome had shivered with delight before Sesshoumaru fell upon her. "Teasing minx," he'd rumbled against her breasts as his lips seemed to devour her.

Of course Kagome had not taken into account when she'd began this game what the mixture of chocolate, strawberries, whipped cream and sweat could possibly be—especially when the two of them had rather long…hair.

"Ouch!" she yelled out as Sesshoumaru made a move on his own and yanked her head backwards.

He turned his head as far as he could to look at her, his eyes showing his appreciation for what he saw, and Kagome let out a growl of her own. "I'm not baring my throat to you, moon doggie!" she yelled, knowing what dirty thoughts were slinking through his brain. "You are currently trying to pull my head off my shoulders! Stop moving!"

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes, knowing that if he truly wanted the miko beheaded it could be easily done. He adjusted himself, feeling the sticky wetness that tangled them together and grimacing once more. Tonight had not gone as planned…and his silk sheets were probably ruined.

"That's it," Kagome ground out between clenched teeth as she freed a lock of her chocolate covered hair from a twisting mess of his, "One of us needs a haircut and it's not me."

_Finished._

**Post a/n: No. I'm not going to cut his hair. That would be sacrilege. **_  
_


	39. Quelling Woes

**Quelling Woes**

"These people are freaks!" was the welcoming phrase that greeted Sesshoumaru as he came into the miko's domicile. And, while he was welcome to agree with the miko on her subjective view of humanity, he still had a need to know what finally drove his miko towards the truth of her own species.

"To _whom,_" Sesshoumaru asked, "Are you referring to, miko?"

She shot him a look, overloaded with the 'I knew you'd enjoy this' and 'why don't you shut your mouth already' looks. "Fanfiction authors," she answered, her voice congested with venom.

Surprised at her target, considering her past defense of such authors, Sesshoumaru couldn't help but ask, "Why?"

"They say I'm not in character," Kagome answered. "They say my story lacks substance, reality. What in the hell would these people know about reality? Especially when the reality they are talking about **I** created?"

At that, Sesshoumaru stalled. He paused, trying to figure out how and who had so aroused his miko's vindictive side. At a loss, unsure of what or who had happened, he couldn't stop himself from asking. After he did, his miko took a deep and collective breath. She seemed to focus herself, turning her eyes away from her lap top screen and focusing on him. "I entered a piece," she explained, "On a live journal site."

He didn't know what live journal was, but was sure to know by the end of the evening.

"They have comms that focus on either the series or on a specific pairing within that series. There's one that focuses on Kagome and Sesshoumaru. I, on a whim, entered a piece into that site."

His ears and focus picked up the more she explained. Anything that had to deal with he and she warranted the upmost attention, after all.

"And they said I was too OOC—out of character, for you not of the web speak."

"Who was OOC?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"My Sesshoumaru."

"And what was the subject matter at hand?" he wanted clarified before he really got upset.

"Romantic speech. They said that what I had written was too OOC for Sesshoumaru to say and yet YOU said those same exact words to me not even a week ago!"

_This is a blessing in disguise, _thought Sesshoumaru as he cleared his throat. "And what, my miko, do those people know?" he asked as he brought the bouquet of flowers out from behind his back.

At the sight of them, the miko melted. She threw aside her laptop and embraced the flowers he'd brought her, smelling deep their fragrance. "Ahhh," she sighed as she brought her face away from the blooms. They were her favorites—but Sesshoumaru knew everything that pleased her. "Now this is exactly what I needed…"

Glad to have turned the tide of her emotions onto a positive route and glad to have saved himself from having to correct the "misguided" views the public had of his persona, Sesshoumaru smiled. As wrapped his arms around his miko, holding her so close he could smell what brand of soap she'd used that morning and rejoicing because he was able to, Sesshoumaru vowed to find this LJ comm on the morrow and continue this sharp-sided view of himself…

_Finish._

a/n: I ritually work on various Inuyasha_LJ sites and no, no one in any of the various sites I sometimes contribute to would EVER offer such an abusive review. In fact, I have received more praise and encouragement from such sites as I have from anywhere else (consider this a shameless plug to go and check them out). This license was taken for creative use only. I have received nothing but positive from those sites (may I reiterate just to avoid future calamity?) and I know that nothing but positive will ever come from them (no matter how much I try and plug Kagome and Jaken as a couple). Forgive me if I offend…

BTW, thank you to those who nommed and voted on both IYFG and Dokuga. _Sesshoumaru Comes to Dinner_ was awarded first place for comedy on IYFG and chapter 34 (Animalistic Woes) was awarded a first place for best one-shot from Dokuga.


	40. Gifts from a Traveling Daiyoukai

**Gifts from a Traveling Daiyoukai**

Kagome was ecstatic, excited, and filled with exhilaration. This bursting energy was _not _because Sesshoumaru was coming home after a two-week long business trip to China. She was use to him having to travel due to his business—as he was to hers. Oh no. This excitement went _much _deeper than that.

Sesshoumaru had texted her.

Yes, he had _texted_ her. HE—the one who claimed to not want to follow current technology because it was bothersome, the one who had no Face Book page, the one who had not even thought of twittering—had TEXTED her.

His message had been short and to the point: _I have a gift for you._

That single sentence had elicited a high within her that hadn't abated yet—especially after she put into consideration what his presents had been like since her magic eight ball had bit the dust—and now she waited with a great anxiousness for him to disembark from the plane. From past experience, Kagome knew Sesshoumaru usually only took a carry-on with him. How such a clothes horse as he managed on one tiny suitcase for such trips she wasn't sure, but Kagome knew he didn't like waiting around for the luggage to be unloaded from the plane.

When she finally saw him walking towards her, Kagome couldn't stop the smile that came to her face. "Welcome home, moon doggie," she said as he drew near.

Sesshoumaru scowled at her pet name for him but Kagome could sense that he was more at ease than he had previously been. '_Aww…did the puppy miss me?' _she thought to herself with a giggle.

He resettled the strap of the bag he carried on his shoulder and Kagome appreciated the show of rippling muscles. A hunger that had nothing to do with food blossomed within her. It was time for them to leave this overly crowded place. She wanted to get this youkai alone—and not just because she _really _wanted to receive her much anticipated gift. "Shall we go to the car then?"

"Unfortunately, no," Sesshoumaru answered with a shudder of distaste, "As this one has more luggage."

Hiding her surprise, Kagome let Sesshoumaru lead the way towards the baggage claim area. "Then let us _fetch _it," she voiced, knowing her word choice would not go over the daiyoukai's head.

The hard glare he sent her over his shoulder only made her grinning visage increase.

*SCTD*

"So _what _is this gift you have for me?" Kagome asked as soon as they were safely ensconced within the walls of Sesshoumaru's home.

The daiyoukai carried the heavy bags with negligent ease to his bedroom and Kagome followed. He gave a chuckle that she might have once found frightening. Now it only served to wet her appetite. She could feel her body psychically reacting and reined herself in. There would be time enough for…_play..._AFTER she'd gotten her present. "Are we that eager?" he asked as he set the larger suitcase down on his bed.

"We are," she admitted. "I have to confess that you've had me drooling since I received your message."

"Very well, Kagome," he replied, his lips curving deliciously. The way he sounded her name made shivers crawl up and down her spine. Kagome pinched herself to keep her mind on her current objective. "Your gift is in the suitcase."

Without wasting another second, Kagome went to the large suitcase and unzipped it. She raised the flap and stared down expecting anything other than what faced her. "What?" she managed to breathe after a moment of staring, "Is this?"

Situated inside the suitcase were what appeared to be two plants? Lifting one, Kagome raised it up to get a better look. Though she was _fairly _certain they were plants, the one in her hand was strangely…human-like? It had the eerie definitions of a face, arms, belly button… "It has a penis!" she yelling out loud when her eyes landed _there_. Such a sight could not be contained internally.

"They are fleeceflowers," Sesshoumaru explained to her as he set his other bag down. "A traditional Chinese medicine for kidney health, strong bones, and—"

"But it has a penis!" Kagome said again, interrupting his instructive monologue.

"One could say it does."

Kagome gave Sesshoumaru a narrow-eyed look, her mind scrounging through her internal files on Sesshoumaru's mannerisms. The daiyoukai had a sick sense of humor that rivaled hers and, judging from the emotionless façade he currently wore, he was most definitely highly amused.

Deciding to let her daiyoukai have his fun, she turned her eyes back to the phallus containing plant in her hand. Holding it away from herself as if the plant's "penis" might attack her without notice, she pulled the second one from the suitcase. Holding both by their "hair", she examined the other one with a critical eye. This one was most definitely the female of the pair, with bulges in all the right places. For some strange reason Kagome found herself wanting to bang the two plants together to imitate sex and she shook her childishness away. "These are very cool, Sesshoumaru, but what in the world were you thinking?"

"It is as strange to you as you are to me," Sesshoumaru answered as he wrapped his arms around her, clutching her close to his body. He leaned down, resting his jaw lightly against the crown of her head. The heat of him turned her a shade of red that had nothing to do with embarrassment. "And so fitting a gift I could not turn away."

Letting the coupling roots fall back down onto the bed to do as they would, Kagome turned to Sesshoumaru. While some might find fault with such an explanation, she could not as she knew him so well. Smiling, she leaned up on her toes to lay claim to his mouth, nipping and licking to catch his attention. "Thank you," she whispered as she finally captured his lips with a kiss.

_Finish._

Post a/n: To see the wonders of the Chinese fleeceflower for yourself, I recommend Googling (ah, the wonders of Google!) or Wikipedia-ing if you desire more than mere images to look at. And while I know this piece is more on the sappy/fluffy side than the funny, I just felt that this needed to be posted. In other news, SCTD was voted best comedy of 2010! SQUEE! Thank you, thank you, thank you to those who nommed and voted.


	41. Gifts from a Traveling Miko

**Gifts from a Traveling Miko**

Kagome surprised him by showing up in his office—which was a rare delight in an otherwise boring day. She was _supposed _to be home finalizing her packing and animal leave-taking as it took her almost an hour to say farewell to her numerous "family members". Even the toad got a fond farewell with a leaving of extra bugs. Glancing at his watch, Sesshoumaru noted internally that her plane left the airport in little under an hour.

She beamed at him as she crossed the room to where he sat and he finally noticed what she carried. It was a white box tied with a red ribbon. "For you," she said as she approached. Kagome set the box down in front of him. "To help you cope with my leaving."

Instantly, his hackles rose in warning and a tingling sensation raced through his body. Everything within him was screaming out direness as he reached for the box and noted the twinkling in his miko's eyes. Persevering, though, Sesshoumaru easily slipped the ribbon off the box and opened it. Pulling out the plastic _thing _within, he eyed his crafty miko with a mixture of emotions. "What," he asked as he spread the plastic out, "Is this?"

"A blow-up sheep!"

_Finish._

a/n: It was a longer on paper. *shrugs* Oh well! :)


	42. A Purposeful Accident

**A Purposeful Accident**

As soon as the captain of the plane deemed it safe to do so, Kagome turned her phone back on. Akin to many during this modern age, her cell phone was almost a like second life line and, while she didn't expect to receive any messages or texts, it was always better to be safe than sorry. Almost as soon as she turned her phone on, though, it chimed to let her know she'd missed a call and received a message. Perplexed, as she'd made all the necessary contacts before take-off, Kagome pushed a button and connected to her voice mail.

She put the phone to her ear and at first heard nothing but scuffling noises. Then came her younger brother's voice in the background. "Dude! Don't _call _her!" This was followed by more scuffling noises and a long moment of silence before Sesshoumaru spoke. "Miko," he practically slurred. _Is he drunk?_ Sesshoumaru then cleared his throat and sounded much more sober when he continued. "Miko, do not fear. This one shall buy you a better one." His statement was followed by Souta's hilarious laughter that bordered on maniacal and then the call disconnected.

_What?_

A second call had been placed a minute afterward and Kagome forwarded to the next message. This one was only the sound of Souta's laughter and a grumbling Sesshoumaru who was telling him to shut up. A few curse words later and the call was disconnected again.

Checking her watch, Kagome saw that it was two in the morning where Sesshoumaru and Souta were. _What were they doing still awake? _She immediately dialed her home phone and put her cell to her ear. The phone rang almost four times before _someone _picked up. There were the common place sounds of rabid barking in the background mixed in with Souta's continued laughter. "She called you back!" Souta yelled before Kagome found herself hung up on.

_What in the hell?_

Immediately, Kagome pushed redial and this time her call went to voice mail. Souta, who was suppose to be staying at her home and animal sitting, and Sesshoumaru, who wasn't suppose to be there _at all_ but apparently was, wouldn't hear a thing she said and so Kagome disconnected the call and began to quietly seethe…

_Now what_, she asked herself, _would Sesshoumaru be buying me another one of?_

Kagome went over, mentally, everything she owned that she fathomed Sesshoumaru didn't think she could live without. There wasn't much as her laptop was with her, her cell was obviously in her hands, and-

"OH MY GOD! MY ANIMALS!"

*SCTD*

Her plane landed on time and Kagome was the first to pop up out of her seat. She'd tried calling her home several more times since she'd been hung up on and no one had answered. Worry and fear colored her features as she begged and pleaded with the others on the plane to let her pass. More than likely fearing they had a deranged person on their hands, the other occupants of her flight seemed more than happy to let her pass.

She made a running b-line for the luggage depot and collected her suitcase as soon as it hit the rotating bed. Flinging her carry-on over her shoulder, Kagome ran for the exit doors and jumped in the first cab she saw. While usually someone would be picking her up—namely Sesshoumaru—they'd made prior arrangements that she would take a cab home from the airport this time. _Never again, _Kagome thought to herself as she tried her home phone again.

"Hello?" came an answering voice—at last.

"Souta!" Kagome fairly screamed. "Who died?"

*SCTD*

By the time the taxi came to a stop in front of her home, Kagome was _slightly _calmer than she had been as she left the airport. Souta had explained everything that had happened and had assured her that _none _of her animals had been harmed. In fact, they were in excellent condition mainly in thanks to Sesshoumaru. At that bit of knowledge, Kagome had actually taken her phone away from her ear and looked to make sure she'd dialed the right number. _Since when had Souta become such a cheerleader for Sesshoumaru?_

Apparently—according to her younger brother, that is—Souta had brought his old Playstation 2 game system with him because her small collection of Wii games—the only game system she had in her home—sucked. Also, Souta had apparently _found _some of his "older" games and had wanted to play them again. So he'd come over, set up his Playstation 2 to her TV, and been playing _Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairy Tale_ when Sesshoumaru had come over to 'check up and make sure he was okay'. Sesshoumaru, upon seeing what he was playing, had immediately become interested as Souta had been in the midst of a battle between his "character" and Inuyasha…

Several hours later—after Sesshoumaru had learned the controls of the game and Souta had delivered jiji's gift to him of a bottle of potent sake—her younger brother had beaten him one too many times playing as Inuyasha—who'd he'd never quite gotten over the hero-worshiping of. Sesshoumaru, without thought, had _melted _her TV with a hardy stream of dokatsu. Souta quoted him as saying, "Recover from _that_, half-breed," as her TV met its gruesome end.

_At least my animals are okay, _Kagome told herself as she accepted her unloaded suitcases from the taxi driver and paid him. Ignoring the man's bowing and knowing she more than likely overpaid for her ride, Kagome headed towards the front door of her home with key in hand.

*SCTD*

She _expected _the smell, the lingering stench edged with a flowery scent. Having smelt it many times before—once up close and personal—it didn't turn her stomach with dread as it once had. Instead it made her irritated as she entered her home. "Couldn't' you have bothered to open a window?" she yelled from the doorway.

Her view of her living room was blocked by the row of plants she'd taken in from her back patio before she left. She hadn't wanted the possible freeze that had been forecasted to kill them. Therefore her blocked view gave the occupants in her living room time to scramble. Also the excited greeting of her dogs stalled her a moment more. Not wanting to take her anger out on innocent subjects, Kagome greeted each one of her sweet pups in turn and then moved forward, rounding around the plants to see her living room in total and inhale more of the stink lingering in the air. "Hey, sis!" called Souta, who was lounging innocently on the couch in her usual spot. Apparently he hadn't told Sesshoumaru she'd called and he'd confessed.

"Souta," Kagome said with a nod. Then she turned her eyes onto Sesshoumaru.

The daiyoukai was currently stretched out on her love seat looking worse for wear. Sitting almost on top of his head was her cat, his tail wrapped around Sesshoumaru's jaw. The look on her face must have let him know she knew the truth of what had happened and he turned a glaring eye—without turning his head because that would had upset the cat on his head—towards Souta. "Hey," her brother said in his own defense, "She called while you were in the shower."

_At least, he's bathed, _Kagome thought to herself, finding the humor in the situation. It wasn't often, after all, when Sesshoumaru was less than perfect. "I'm not angry," Kagome said as she turned to where her new TV was—and stopped.

It was…HUGE.

Huge-r than huge, actually.

Gigantic.

Enormous.

Grande all the way…

She felt her mouth drop open as she stared at where once—in her own personal opinion—her very finely sized forty inch flat screen TV had rested. That space had been overflowed by a brand new monstrous seventy inch one. There was hardly any wall space that was not clouded by a television. "Bigger is better!" chimed in Souta at just the precise moment her brain registered what it was seeing. "Inuyasha always thought so!"

Kagome heard herself growl—in afterthought she was impressed with the sound but at the current moment was not—as she swung her eyes back towards the men sitting on her couches. In a second, flashes of her life gone by came before her eyes. She pictured how Inuyasha had never been happy with what he'd been given-always going for bigger and better. The same could have been said for Sesshoumaru. _Apparently_, she mused, _not all has changed..._ "I'm. Going. To. My. Room," she bit out, grabbing the handles of her suitcase as she did. She wasn't angry, per se, but she didn't trust herself, either. _Better safe than sorry, _she echoed in her mind.

"Oh, dude," Kagome heard Souta say as she walked down the hallway towards her room, "Told you not to call her.

"Shut up, hanyou lover," Sesshoumaru bit back. This statement was followed by a meow from the cat perched on Sesshoumaru's head that seemed to echo the daiyoukai's thoughts.

And, at that, Kagome felt_ some _of her non-anger anger wearing off...

_Finish._

A/N: Couldn't help myself! I'm sure it'll be a while for another update after this..._  
_


	43. Speaking in Tongues

a/n: There's some language in this one…and it's a little suggestive. Apologies!

**Speaking in Tongues**

His miko, Sesshoumaru decided, had clearly lost her mind. Wait. Did he _wish_ to lay claim to an insane woman?

Deciding to debate that at a later time, Sesshoumaru took a step back and continued to watch the scene unfold. How the miko was unaware of his presence, he wasn't sure. They'd been dining outside when the plaintive sounding meow of his nemeses had arisen and the miko had moved to respond…like a well-trained pet. Though he gnashed his teeth together to stop from letting her know _exactly _what she had become to the infernal cat (perhaps because she'd enjoy it?), he drew the line at her being gone so long. Therefore, when his mentally set time had passed, he'd risen himself to see what in the hell was taking so long!

He hadn't expected this.

The miko was standing in her kitchen and was surrounded by _some _of her "pets". Sesshoumaru noted dully that her Inuyasha-dog, the one named after the wolf prince, and himself were in attendance. The two pups were begging from the floor, while the wretched cat was sitting merrily on the countertop licking his chops in anticipation as the miko scrounged from their dinner to make plates of chicken scraps for them. While the fact that she was sharing their food with them bothered him some, it was actually the conversation going on between the three animals and the human that bothered him _more…_

…because the miko was the one leading this conversation.

While there were three distinctly different voices sounding—and one well-known miko one—all three voices held a tone that announced to any listening who were in their right mind that _she _was the mastermind of all the voices. She was _speaking _for them. The idea was preposterous—especially since Sesshoumaru knew exactly what the three animals were _really _saying.

"She'll give it to me," the miko boasted in what Sesshoumaru assumed was her Inuyasha tone.

"Pfft," said her Kouga dog voice. "She's always preferred me over you, mutt boy."

From his lordly post above the dogs, the Sesshoumaru cat sneered, "It is mine by right."

"Now, now," Kagome said to all her pets, smiling at each one of them. "Everyone is getting some and everyone is getting the same amount. Quit fighting amongst yourselves."

And all the while this was carrying on Kagome was busy tearing up chunks of meat into "animal-safe bite sizes", as she called them. Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes at the notion and secretly wished they'd all choke on their food at the same time. Though he _would _have to deal with an insane grieving miko for a time, part of his mental pain would be vanquished. That is until the miko replenished her stock…

As if the cat knew what he was thinking, he threw Sesshoumaru a look that said as much followed with a twitched of his tail that clearly stated it would never happen.

_Damn cats, _Sesshoumaru thought.

He was about to step forward and announce his presence to the miko when the conversation she'd made up in her mind continued. Apparently she was speaking for the cat when she said, "The larger portion should go to me as I am the one she sleeps with."

"Fuck that!" said the Inuyasha voice. "We're brothers. We should share and share alike."

In a disdainful tone, her cat voice reminded the Inuyasha dog that they were of obviously different species—his superior to the dog's, of course. Just because their namesakes were brothers, did not mean _they _were. "And she'd never share her bed with a dog."

Now, at that, Sesshoumaru took insult as he _was_ a dog and the miko shared her bed with him quite voraciously. Thankfully, though, the Inuyasha pup voice saved him from joining in on the lunacy currently taking place in his miko's kitchen. "Her _dog _lays her better than anyone."

_Now this is getting down right raunchy, _Sesshoumaru thought, _which shouldn't be happening. _"Miko," he finally managed to say aloud.

At the sound of his voice, Kagome's head snapped up and she smiled at him while divesting the last of her pilfered meat onto the three plates in front of her. She set two down on the floor—which were almost gone before she'd even stood fully upright—and then pushed one in front of the cat. "Sesshoumaru," she replied, her smile growing and no hint of embarrassment yet to be seen. "Sorry it took so long, but they were hungry."

Sesshoumaru eyed the dogs on the floor who were now starring hungrily up at the cat. Said cat just so happened to be purposefully eating extremely slowly just to tease those who couldn't reach him. "So this one sees," he answered.

"I'll be there in a minute," she continued as she washed her hands in the sink. "And I'll bring dessert."

The miko's idea of dessert usually consisted of something he could lap off of her skin these days and so Sesshoumaru was heartily in agreement with this announcement. "This one shall be waiting," he replied thickly—his mind already in other places than dwelling on the sanity of his chosen mate. Sometimes insanity could be _quite _delightful…

He'd given the animals surrounding her one last look of loathing—clearly letting them know what he thought about what they'd _really _been saying—and then turned to stroll back outside. He was almost to the doors when the miko's conversation with herself and the animals continued. "He's such a sucker for you," the Kouga voice said. "I want more chicken, too."

"Yeah, the bastard is wrapped around your fingers," the Inuyasha voice continued. "But if he gets more chicken then I get double the amount he receives."

"Boys," Kagome admonished in her own voice. "You should be respectful. And quiet."

Sesshoumaru paused in the doorway, waiting to hear what the cat would say in Sesshoumaru's mind. Instead the cat himself raised his head and meowed. Sesshoumaru grabbed the door frame, digging his claws in to keep from turning and answering the challenge made. He most definitely was _not _a lap dog and he was most definitely _not _in this for the "food".

Unless one counted miko as a food group…

_Finished._


	44. Crunch Time

**Crunch Time**

"I can't do it, Sesshoumaru," the miko announced from her front porch. "I just can't."

From his place standing at the passenger side of his car, Sesshoumaru sighed the sigh of a man who suffered greatly. His days of planning a perfect outing would be defeated…by snails. _Damn the rain._

He peered back at the miko, striking all emotion from his face as was his defense. "It is merely a small walk, miko. Surely even _you _can do that."

He'd hoped to strike at her ego, but apparently the miko was insane enough to not even notice his dig. She cast her eyes frantically around her surroundings and shook her head no. "There's a reason I never go out when it rains and this is it. The sound sickens me."

Gritting his teeth, Sesshoumaru turned towards her. "Then shut your ears."

He strode boldly towards her and could see her flinch with every step he took.

_Crunch. _

_Crunch. _

_Crunch._

Why the sound bothered her so much, he wasn't sure. Nor did he particularly care when he'd put so much effort into their time out…

Reaching her side, he scooped the miko up into his arms and she gave a surprised yelp—her mind still stuck on the sound of his approaching footsteps. "They are merely snails," he said in answer to cry.

"But still," she replied, her voice drawing off with remembered disgust. "I can't stand stepping on them."

Sesshoumaru straightened and turned, facing his car once more. He started forward with solid footsteps and ignored each crack beneath his shoes. This was something he was use to—his world. The little fell underneath the big…every time. Every step he took, though, made the miko shudder and cringe. By the time they reached his car, Sesshoumaru had found himself trying to step around the little insignificant beasts to try and spare her.

"We are at my car," he announced, to try and distract her.

Her clenched eyes opened and she looked up at him with relief. "Thank the Kami that's over," she said as he lowered her feet to the ground.

_Crunch._

_The End!_

_a/n: I'm an Air Force brat and my father was stationed in Okinawa. Every time it rained there the snails came out in abundance—and by abundance I mean you couldn't walk outside without stepping on one. The sound of them breaking drove me nuts and still does. Can't stand it. Sorry, I transferred some of my neuroses to Kagome, lol._


	45. A Daiyouki Caught

_a/n: A slightly adult topic :P But hey. It's me!_

**A Daiyoukai Caught**

Oh.

Oh yes.

She _had _him now.

Kagome grinned to herself as she watched her pups play in the backyard. She remembered distinctly the day she'd found what she'd been so diligently—yet quite carefully least he catch her in the act—searching for. They'd been most carefully hidden behind a line of DVDs and Blu Rays that covered world events for the past hundred years; something she normally would _never _have paid attention to. Oh sweet glory in her persistence. It was surely an award from the Kami!

As her pups ventured into the taller grasses and distracted her from her thoughts, Kagome couldn't help but shout, "No! Not into the tall grass!"

_Velociraptors lay there…_

It had taken her months of careful searching and prodding to find something in the daiyoukai's life that would work to even out her own infatuations—namely her animes that the dog demon seemed so determined to leech out of her system. Why it bothered him that she liked to watch cartoons, she'd never know—nor would she really care. Still, when she stumbled upon something of HIS that would work as equal weight in the battle…oh it was on.

Kagome was still grinning when Sesshoumaru arrived at her home from his weekly business meeting. He'd welcomed himself inside without a by-your-leave, which was perfectly acceptable with her, and met her in the backyard. In one glance he summed up the outing she and the dogs were in the midst of. It was comforting to her that he knew her thoughts so well. "They went into the high grass."

Of course she laughed. "They did."

"And now they are to be devoured?"

Did he seem happier by this prospect? "I suspect," Kagome answered, "That their mother already vanquished all foes."

"You know that they are no longer pups now." "

"They will always be my babies."

Sesshoumaru _grimaced._

"Thoughts of home?" Kagome voiced as she headed back towards her small patio area. She knew what was what—it was her _job_ to know—and therefore did not peruse avenues where her presence was not warranted…yet. Still, that didn't' stop her taking a jab. "Would you like a drink, Sesshoumaru?" she asked over her shoulder as she headed inside.

She caught his nod on her way in, grinning to herself. She'd been holding this in for weeks now—waiting for the perfect moment—and finally _that _moment had presented itself. When she returned outside, with his drink in hand, her smile was sugary sweet. Sesshoumaru was instantly on alert because of the expression on her face, but Kagome knew that would happen. She knew him as well as he knew her apparently.

As he accepted his drink, Sesshoumaru appraised her. "Some ridiculous idea seems to have planted itself within you," he said at last.

"I wouldn't call it ridiculous."

He followed the lead she'd left him like the dog he was—which played perfectly into her trap. "And why, miko, would you call it _not_ ridiculous? We all know how your mind is."

"Because," Kagome said loftily, ignoring his comment on the state of her mental status, "I really want you to watch Code Geass with me."

At the mention of the anime, Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes—which Kagome had expected. She'd been pestering him for weeks to watch Code Geass with her and he had been just as intently refusing. "Otherwise," she said, in tones sure to register through whatever mental argument he was in the midst of, "We can read together about the fate of Regan the Radiant and Declan Chase…"

At the mention of those characters—the author of whose books he owned every single copy of until the most recently release—Sesshoumaru blushed…quite prettily. "Whatever are you talking about miko?" he managed to ask with a straight face.

Of course, Kagome was use to dealing with hard cases. "Perhaps," she said, as she walked back inside and picked up a paperback book on her coffee table, "This would remind you…"

She began in beautiful tones—as befitted an author such as she—and continued on through a piece of the paranormal love romance series she'd just recently learned _her _daiyoukai was, apparently, quite addicted to. Kami. He owned every book of it and was already in place as a buyer for the next book which wasn't due until NEXT year.

"God in heaven, woman." Declan lifted her, laying her against his side. "That'll change a man's outlook on life real quick" The best way to bring a male back from the brink? Hot oral sex with a Valkyrie. And he finally understood what her little claws were about!"

Kagome paused in her reading to glance at her daiyoukai. "I sense self-representation here," she said as seriously as possible. Sesshoumaru, meanwhile, kept an entirely emotionless façade during her entire reading of something he _might _not have read yet. Oh. She had so screwed up on the do-not-reveal-what-has-happened factor that she and her anime friends relied upon that should _well _fit with books newly published, too.

Revenge gone sour….maybe.

"You _would_ pick a sexual moment to expound upon," Sesshoumaru countered with a straight tone. "A mind so often in the gutter cannot see far beyond such when it involves others."

_Had she just been insulted? _"You like my mind."

"Truth," the daiyoukai replied as he plied the book from her fingers and tucked it, somehow, away into his business suit. Obviously he _hadn't _bought the book yet and was now stealing _her _copy. "And this one would rather like to know how you came across such information." "

"Oh?" Kagome said with a raised brow as Sesshoumaru crowded her. Kami, how she loved feeling overwhelmed around him. Even though she was acutely aware, she loved it nonetheless. "Shall you torture me for information now?"

He gave her that half-smile of his that drove her crazy; that made her want to rake her fingernails across his back as she screamed. "You torture yourself on your own well enough, woman."

_Finish._

_a/n: In explanation, the books Kagome is talking about finding is a series by Kresley Cole called Immortals After Dark, a series I happen to adore wholeheartedly. I just found it slightly humorous to make Sesshoumaru adore it as well. And I HIGHLY suggest you check it out. :P Also, my gratitude to those who have nommed this series in the up-coming Doukga awards. My thanks to you and my bow to your continued support. _ _My readers feed me…._


	46. A Daiyoukai Defends

**A Daiyoukai Defends**

"You torture yourself on your own well enough, woman," Sesshoumaru answered as he took a step away from her, "But for your information—since you seem so keen to gain it—I do not read her novels for the sexual situations."

Kagome gave him a skeptical look. "Yeah," she said as she stepped forward and easily stole her hands into his suit to retrieve the book he thought he'd most easily pilfered. "There's so much _more _than sex in these types of books."

"There is. In some," Sesshoumaru qualified. "One must know what to look for."

Kagome snorted. "You know, I don't mind you getting _off _reading these kinds of things," she said, continuing so quickly he couldn't get a word in edgewise. "It's just that if I cut you slack reading these, then you should cut me slack with my anime. We each have our own…passions," she continued with a little laugh, "And should be able to enjoy them without the other getting in the way."

"I do not make you read these books—though you should."

"Are there things in them that you wish to try?" Kagome asked without missing a beat.

He immediately decided to ignore the question. "She is a damn good author."

"Ah," Kagome said with obviously faked wounding, "So you think I can learn something from her?"

He growled, not liking how she was leading this conversation and that she seemed so on top in the matter. Damn it. He was male; top was HIS place.

It was time to turn the tide…

"Every book is interlocking, every story entwined. Yet any book can be read in any order and the reader is never lost. The characters are unique, independent, and strong. There is no such thing as a simpering female thinking 'I have exposed my ankle to him and am now damned to hell'. You would appreciate such feminist ideals."

"I might," Kagome agreed with a shrug.

Sesshoumaru pressed on, going in for the kill. "As for getting _off_ on such writings, please, woman. With someone like you in this one's life, how could I even imagine a comparison?"

Of course she melted—like butter in a microwave.

Oh how he _loved _microwaves….

"Perhaps," Kagome said with a silly grin on her face as she wrapped her arms around him, "We can reach a compromise?"

"My life was fine _before _you interfered," Sesshoumaru returned as he deftly stole the book back from her and tucked it safely away once more.

In her natural way, Kagome ignored him. No wonder she seemed so perfect for him. "You keep your books and I'll read them too—when I've the time—and I keep my anime and you watch it with me. What do you think?"

As things would continue as they would, Sesshoumaru felt no feelings as he shrugged his shoulders in false surrender to her feminine "wiles". He had been reading this series for years and nothing would stop him from continuing to. The miko had been pressing anime upon him for years and nothing would stop her from continuing to do so.

And also, yes, there were things he wanted to try….but it would be so much easier to gain her involvement if she thought herself the idea maker.

"This is a win-win situation, miko," Sesshoumaru announced, an unmistakable gleam in his eye.

_Finish._


	47. Mikos Wobble and They Don't Fall Down

**Mikos Wobble and They Don't Fall Down**

Sometimes the miko could be quite bothersome…

_Correction, _Sesshoumaru mentally rectified. _It is actually the_ _miko's acquaintances who can be quite bothersome. _He straightened from where he was seated on the miko's couch and scowled as he darkly added, _Especially those from before this time._

Whatever further contemplations that were forthcoming were torn from him as the miko giggled and collapsed onto his lap, wrapping her arms around him and planting a rather loud smack on his cheek. "Have I told you lately that I love you?" she sang.

Sesshoumaru almost growled as she began singing that demandable Rod Stewart song that had gotten stuck in her head a few days ago. And whom did he have to think for that? None other than the very same person who had put Kagome into the state she was in at the moment.

_Friends…_

A few minutes later, bored of singing apparently, Kagome clamored off his lap and began playing with her dogs while he and the cat stayed seated on her couch and just watched her act like an idiot. Of course it _is _hard to act like anything else when one is drunk.

Kagome's childhood friend, Ayame, had come over earlier this evening. From the scents hanging in the air when he'd arrived, Sesshoumaru could tell that she had been there for some time. He learned, somehow amongst the gibberish aimed in his direction when he'd arrived, that Ayame had received a girl's night out from her husband; a chance to escape the children and have some grown-up time. And how did the woman proceed to enjoy her time away? By getting Kagome drunk off her ass—and herself as well.

Sesshoumaru had seen this Ayame to a cab, with only a slightly false promise of getting her car to her the next morning, before returning to Kagome.

Shaking his head, he caught the miko's eye. "What?" she asked blatantly.

"It is nothing," he intoned evenly.

The miko scowled at him—or tried to. "You're pissed I'm drunk."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

Sesshoumaru caught himself before he fell into the game. "You will regret this in the morning."

"Maybe," she gave back in a childish voice. "Of course, if I had _something _to eat that was _greasy _before I pass out, then maybe I wouldn't regret it _so _very much. But I don't and it's all YOUR fault."

He had no idea what she was talking about and told her as much. Kagome placed her hands on her hips and glared down at him—not looking half as scary as she might have wished. "You," she said, enouncing each word as if it stood alone, "Ate. All. The. Cheese. Off. My. Pizza."

Sesshoumaru knew he was guilty and so held his tongue, but, of course, his miko was not finished. She raised her hand from her hip and pointed towards her cat. "And you SHARED it with Sesshoumaru!"

Automatically, he denied such blasphemy—even though it was true. He had been there. The cat had been there. And they'd both been eyeing the delicious spread of double cheese on the leftover pizza Kagome had just _left _on the countertop… "Never."

"I heard you," Kagome continued with an exaggerated hand-pointing movement that actually made her take a few steps to keep her balance.

"This one will order you pizza, if that is what you wish for," Sesshoumaru replied, smoothly stepping around his being caught acting in accord with his enemy, "But perhaps you should sit down before you fall down?"

Her somewhat pissed-off mood suddenly diverted—mikos were odder than normal when drunk—she gave a laugh and a spin in place. Holding out her hands as if showing an egg shaped body for herself, she giggled, "Weebles wobble and don't fall down."

_What?_

Once more the miko clamored into his lap, her legs caging his in—which he didn't mind at all. "You're an okay guy," she announced to him with all sincerity, "Despite your faults."

He raised an eyebrow at that. As far as he was concerned, he was _perfect. _"What faults do you speak of this one having?"

"Oh," Kagome replied with a simple wave of her hand, "The usually megalomaniac sword fetish I'm-Always-Right flaws. But, you know, the sex rules that entire ego out because...wow."

Feeling insulted and mollified at the same time was a weird sensation…and one Sesshoumaru vowed he would think upon at a later time. "We should go to bed."

She drew back as much as she could, a screwed up look on her face. "What?"

"I wish to take you to bed."

"So you can take advantage of me!" she miko quickly assumed.

"Never," Sesshoumaru growled, in all seriousness. The insult was unforgivable—even if his miko was intoxicated.

Almost wilting before his fury—he would never believe her capable of true wilting, drunk or not—she gave a quiet laugh. "But what if I _want _you to take advantage?"

His interests quickly overrode his fury.

"I would lay you down and do all manner of wicked things."

Her look turned smoldering. "Things I'm sure I would _thoroughly _enjoy," she replied in a voice laced with lust.

"Most definitely," he assured.

Her head gave a cock to the side, indicating he should make a move. "Then perhaps I need to be shown the bedroom?"

Eagerly, glad that his earlier thoughts on how he wouldn't be getting any because she was drunk were not coming true, Sesshoumaru stood and strode boldly back towards her bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind him and ignored the pleading whines of Inuyasha and Kouga. _Not your night, boys…_

He laid the miko down on the bed and slowly began slipping her clothing from her body as she giggled and sighed underneath his touch. The further along he moved, the harder he grew. Then, once he had the miko bared he growled. "You will be appropriately punished for your actions tonight, female."

She did nothing in response.

Sesshoumaru made a motion sure to arouse her attention….and received nothing but a grunt for his attentions.

"Miko?" he prodded, though he internally knew it was pointless.

Her answer was a grunting snore and Sesshoumaru cursed quite brilliantly. His damn female had fallen _asleep. _

Vowing vengeance, Sesshoumaru plotted—as he situated the miko in her bed so she wouldn't wake with muscle cramps and would be easily able to run for the bathroom—how he would make her pay for the pain he was experiencing now in the morning. Until then, though, he needed a cold, cold, cold shower.

And if that damned cat said ANYTHING about this….

_The End. _


End file.
